Shallow eyes, pale and cold looking being from that blue shaded windowpane watching what is about the outside. Her pale hand leaning against the blue shaded window of that fancy building's facade. Her skin was deadly as a plum and she' s been living there for a very long-long time craving for new faces to visit her some time.
She lived there all through her life and she knew that she ill-spent her life as a lonesome being. And oh, how she wanted to touch a soft warm rosy skin being burnt by the sun than to stay at that frosty building’s inside.
Though she lived as lonesome, she also goes out to entertain the passer by's. There she wore a mask and do some charades to picture her irony of life. Out there she make the people laugh and she also made some of them ease the pain that they're going through and she made them forget their worries and difficulties. But behind that mascara her hot tears pursue to flood the street telling them that she's all but like a blind.
To live like a blind is to live in the coldest place alone... you see no one like the way she's seeing no peers. All her acquaintance has been gone. Perhaps some started their own life successfully and probably would forget about her. And still to the others, they would really intended to leave her because she is made without any use at all. Her brain is too dull and she's really slow that no one could not bear to help her. She's too weak to lean on and she has no strategy. She’s great in disorder... that they all assumed and pre-judged her that she's having a brain disorder.
To live like blind is somewhat difficult for her. She knew that she cannot do anything... she has nothing and her hands were not meant for skills nor did her brain for logic reasoning and to partake a creative concept to the world. She has nothing! She's flat. She's not being optimized even an innovative. She's null!
Now tired of peering and envying the people outside she decided to pull down the blinds. She don't want to see the outside world anymore where the people were so bright and yet were so hypocrites... They were so brilliant but they lack understanding for they all cared about is their self and to judge to whatever their eyes could understand.
She sits on the cold marble floor, bent herself feeling her loneliness that tormented her that she makes a soft cry of bitterness. She cried as if she's embittered and defeated at all. She don't want to see anyone and not on mood to make her audience be happy.
Hour came she's still there sitting on the floor, her back leaning against the wall crying bitterly. She heard that someone's knocking at the door but she doesn’t felt like answering it. She went on her weeping and ignoring the knocking outside.
The knock went on...
She stopped crying, she wiped her tears and she fixed herself up. She makes herself looked decent, she stand up and she went to the door. She opened it. A weeping fellow of her came. Her fellow hugged her. She hugged her back. She let her in.
Her weeping fellow was sad and she went on telling her about her misfortunes. She cried as if she's mourning for the dead.
Her pale look suddenly changed into a warm rosy looking skin and she's also brightening up. Her lips pursed a smile. Soon her eyes lit up and she started to do a facade again to inspire her fellow. She gave her a cheer up jokes and she convinced her that life was beautiful though it's the opposite of what she's feeling right now. How she wanted to tell her that life was ugly and deadly. But she won't do that and has no guts. She doesn’t want to make her fellow fall down pit to mud.
Her weeping fellow stopped crying. She listened to her intently and she gets inspired feeling more alive. Her smile reached up to her ears. She's feeling revived after all. She waved at her good bye before she leaves.
She wanted to make her fellow stay but she cannot stop her from going. She bid her go and she just watched her walked outside the door and down the street her fellow brooch.
Now she's all alone again. Facade had just ended a while ago she wanted to told her self. Her house is quiet and still. She wants to stop there and put everything into a pause. But life has to go on... she cannot quit this cycle until she's down the grave.
She went into her room to sleep. She lied there flatly and feeling lonely she sighed anticipating the day that her life was filled with fellows of long ago and of what is ahead. But it greed her the
chance. Guessed she that she was made to be all by herself, to be living as lonely as the ones we've lost into the grave.
Sometimes this loneliness made the people around her to be prejudice. They judged according to what their bad eyes and heart have seen and not of what their minds could understand. All held their hands back avoiding to give her a friendly handshake. She's not feeling welcomed at all! They've seen her needing a community because she's lonesome but none provided her a community instead they gossiped and tried to stripped her off to shame through verbal slanders and false judgment.
She needed understanding but no one tried to soak up to what her mind could comprehend. All they cared of is their self-knowledge and wisdom. She's being manipulated - she's separated from them as to put her into a shame that she must’ve not been - an indifferent! They all prejudged her to be a mediocre or to the worse - an idiot!
She closed her eyes to forget about the hurt and to put into grave her loneliness. She doesn’t want to feel it anymore. She doesn’t want to be like a plum. She doesn’t want to be a dull wick of light but to luster in fiery luminescent aura. She wants to be in with them.... she wanted to be respected and accepted as an individual. She's craving for it for so long and she wanted to be treated as human and to feel human to everyone's eyes. She doesn’t want to be judged falsely.
She groaned thinking of her cravings of it. Soon a small drop of tear fell from her eye. She breathed hard and she's trying to catch it. Her eyes were shut. She hears nothing but a knell and all her eyes could see was this great cloud of darkness... and all was part of her late memories... When she opened up her eyes she saw a blinding streak of lights... all were bright to her eyes... everything is made of gold.... She felt a cosmic happiness there.
She felt belongingness and how she wanted to be there for infinity.... she don't want to wake up from this kind of dream or hallucination...