It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting, for death is the destiny of every man; the living should take this to heart.
This is the verse that keep on entering my mind as I walk to their house . That morning my mom told me that Tito(1) Jun died. For a moment my mind went blank> he and his wife has been very close to my parents. I really don't know why but I really don't feel any sense off sadness as I go to school.
This is the not first time that I receive such news. The first that really affected me was the death of one of our customers, Ranjen. By that time I was already a Christian yet I know that I wasn't a light to him. Instead, I think it was the other way around. Ranjen died at the age of 15. He was the least favorite customer of mine. As a person, he was annoying and there are times when I wish I won't see him in the inter net cafe. A few weeks before he died, I got into an argument with him. The topic of the argument happened to be about salvation. In annoyance I grabbed a bible, asked him to sit down and shared the gospel to him. As I look back I wonder if I did it out of love or out of pride. Most probably I did it out of pride. On the day before he died, I saw him counting every cent of his money. He wanted to buy a fifty peso load on ragnarok (2) so that he will be able to save more money. For a split second, he look into my eyes as he hand me the money. I never thought it would be the last time I would see him. A few days after he died, I found out that he had a heart problem since birth. I never thought that he had an illness. He seems so healthy. Had he lived longer, he might still been one of the customers that annoys me or a brother in church. Now, I will never know.
The second news of death that affected me was that of my classmate's mother. My classmate blamed herself for what had happened. A month before her mother died, she confided to me about her problem. As I LISTEN TO HER I realize that I cannot truly grasp the sorrow that she feels. The only thing that makes her go on is the hope that her mother will live longer. However, that didn't happen. We went to the funeral house to console her. At first she tried to smile but she just couldn't hold back the tears. There are times when she tried to laugh but I know that there is simply nothing I could do but to listen and pray.
As I recalled theses memories I couldn't help but wonder why I do not feel sad towards the death of Tito Jun. I feel sad for the wife and five children he left behind but I feel nothing towards the death of Tito Jun. Was it because I didn't know him well? Or was it because it has been a long time since I heard any clear news of him? The clearest memory that I have for him was when he and his wife and two kids came to visit us. When they were about to live, one of his sons dance to get attention. I remember how he smiled. He was a good father.
As I was standing outside the house, I look around. This house has two floors but is very small in area. I wasn't able to see the second floor. The coffin accommodated half the living room. Generally only five people can be sit inside. People who came to visit the funeral sat outside the gate. Other people stayed at the kitchen. As a large girl, I didn't try to get in. I would only cause a problem. So I just stayed at one corner out side the house where i can cause the least problem in passage. My parents and a few members of the church came to console the family. They also cam to use this opportunity to spread the gospel to their neighbors. Due to the small area my brother use the microphone so that those outside can hear the message on salvation. When the message end, I took a last look on him and said goodbye.
In the process of writing this article, I realize why I didn't feel sad for Tito Jun. It is because I know that he is now with Jesus. I also know and believe that God has a purpose for everything. The family is left behind and is now facing a lot of problems without him. However God is with them. As for the others I am not sure of their souls. I only know that Jesus is the only way, truth and life.
Who knows what will happen tomorrow? Yet death is so certain and yet so unpredictable. Some were given the chance to prepare. Others were suddenly cut short. Solomon was right when he wrote the words in Ecclesiastes 7:2b. “For death is the destiny of every man; the living should take this to heart.”
A person I know once ask “Why didn't God made us immortals so that we wont have to feel the pain of losing someone” God didn't cause death. Sin did. Yet out of the goodness of His heart, He sent his only begotten Son to save us from eternal death. We will lose this body. However, to those who are save, a time is coming when our body will be changed into a body fit for heaven. By that time, we will be together with Jesus forever.
Yet this is not yet the time, for there are still so many people dying without Jesus Christ. Jesus also died for them just as he died for us. Let us go and share God's love to them.
Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." (Matthew 28:19-20)
1) the word Tito is actually a title we give to much older men who are not relative. It's a Filipino Custome. It is a form of respect.
2) Ragnarok is a popular online game here in the philippines. It requires the player to buy a prepaid card in order to play.
Thank you for sharing your precious faith.
Your words were real.
They confirmed the urgency the Lord is sharing, to share the Gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ, to those around us, and to all.
Love, Kathleen Angell