She would lie in bed listening with the covers pulled up to her chin. She was so scared. She just wished that they would stop! Stop calling each other names. Stop yelling! Stop hitting! Just stop! The darkness surrounded her. The darkness penetrated through to her heart. These were the two people she loved so dearly in the whole wide world and they kept hurting each other. They had good days, sometimes. Laughter and tickling. Yes, she would hold onto these in the dark. But then the darkness came and stole them away.
Sometimes the guilt she felt was unbearable. She had broken the big window. It was an accident, honest. The toy wasn’t supposed to bounce in that direction, but it did. She had to wait until the man came home and tell him what she had done. When the man came home, so did the darkness. She stood before him and explained, knowing she deserved her punishment. But he told her to go to bed. Then the darkness enveloped her. The man started yelling. The man started hitting. She could only lie in bed and listen. And cry.
This love that they had talked about at that church…. this wasn’t suppose to happen…or was it? Jesus loved me this I know. But did Jesus love everyone? Did everyone love Jesus? How could Jesus let these two people hurt each other so much? She would spend nights lying in bed thinking about Jesus. She would spend many days learning about Jesus. There was no darkness when Jesus was there. Her little heart grew with love for Jesus so much so that she thought it would just burst wide open! Then the darkness would come. And would bring the hurt.
She had been asleep. She knew she had been asleep. She could feel the darkness first. Then she heard. Gun? There was a gun? Never again would that gun be aimed at him! She heard the crying. She heard the hitting. She pulled the covers closer to her. The darkness crept in. Jesus…where are you? Jesus you love me. Jesus I love you and I need you. Help me! The little girl reached her arm high into the darkness. She fingers stretched wide. Then she felt Him! Jesus had found her! She knew He would find her. He promised He would find her. Jesus had touched her little hand held high up in the darkness that night. Even in the darkness He had found her. She kept stretching her arm higher, her fingers wider. I love you so much Jesus!! Little did she know that she had found salvation that night. Salvation and forgiveness. All she knew was that she had Love! The darkness disappeared. Such a peace the little girl had never known had taken its place! Such a joy! She smiled there in the darkness that night. She wasn’t scared anymore.
She reached her hand high most every night. Searching. Waiting. Little did she know that Jesus already had her hand, He was now touching her heart.
I find rest in God; only He gives me hope. He is my rock and my salvation, He is my defender.