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Loneliness and the Pastor's Wife
by Donna Kauffman
05/10/06
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comfort,

For I the Lord thy God will hold thy right hand,

saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee.

Isaiah 41:13

Do you ever struggle with loneliness in the ministry? I've been there. I know that path, and the longing to flee from the dark cloud that wants to hang over my head during those times. And, flee I do. I've found such rich rewards in the lonely part of this journey.

1. The comfort of the Father

Oh, my heart has been wrapped up in the Father's heart like never before in my life. From the time I was very young I've known a searching heart. I have sought the Lord and His word again and again through the years. But when I met the lonelies, the sorrows that can be involved in leading a congregation of people to Christ, I needed the Father more than I ever KNEW I needed Him before.

So to HIM I went like never before. I have learned so much healing in His very presence. When I have a sorrow-filled, a lonely stretch of time, it hurts, yes, it hurts utterly bad. But oh the preciousness of the Father's arms around me, of His hand holding mine, of His presence covering over me is far more complete than even having a friend to talk with.

2. My husband

Yes, my husband has become my best friend. Umm... we've drawn so close as we've walked through many various and sundry places in pastoral leadership. We've learned to hold each other close, cry together, pray together, sing together, sit together, laugh together and hurt together. The Father is the third person in our circle and it's complete.

3. Other pastor's wives

There are other pastor's wives looking for other pastor's wives. Seek the Father's heart and hear whom it is that he would have for you to worship with. It is sweet fellowship as two in this position bond their hearts over the joys and sorrows of loving a church to the Father's throne.

4. No more gossip

When my husband was called to pastor a church, my prayer of many years to lay down my need to negatively discuss other people with other people was answered. I've been so thankful for this freedom in my life.

Indeed a pastor's wife is unwise to listen to or share unkind words about another, whether the words are truth or not. And not having the liberty to do this has generally not been that trying. It's been a marvelous treasure.

Ladies in the church don't bother discussing other folks with me. What a blessing. I don't bother discussing other folks with them. Another blessing.

I can feel a bit out of touch with the tiny happenings in others' lives, but I feel more in touch with their spiritual hearts. What another marvelous blessing.

And the less I know about the negative, nitty gritty happenings, the easier it is for me to love each one for who they are.

Yes, I know the lonely parts of living as a pastor's wive, but as I delight in these four points, I find healing and hope to continue the journey.

May you be strengthened in the Father's wisdom as you find His presence the healer to your loneliness.



If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be! TRUST JESUS NOW

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