Dealing with Grief
Have you thought about writing a friendship journal? This is something I came up with as a result of a personal experience. A girl friend of mine whom I have known for over 20 years was murdered. Her husband was charged and convicted of first degree murder. This was extremely difficult for me as well as their children.
As a result of expressing my feelings to some friends, one friend suggested I write down the special things that my girl friend had done and why she was special to me. She thought that would help me deal with the situation. I started thinking about her suggestion and thought about a friendship journal.
A friendship journal would consist of your close friends and comments about the people and why they are special to you. Whenever you needed some encouragement, you could get out your journal and read over the comments that you wrote about your friends. This type of journal would also help if you had a friend pass away like I had. You would always have something to remember them.
Here are some ways that my friend has helped me. She was a strong Christian, so I know that I will see her again some day.
She taught me how to use the computer. She and her husband bought me my first computer. Every time I went to their house, she would show me more about the computer. She was impressed as to how quickly I learned. I was nervous when I first started learning the computer because I was afraid I would do something wrong. However, she was a great teacher and friend.
We spent a lot of time getting to know each other and encouraging each other. When I went to her house, we would go shopping together and eat out. She had two children who went with us. We enjoyed spending time together.
For four years, we lived in the same city. Then, I moved back to Topeka. That didnít stop our friendship. We continued to communicate with each other by phone and through e-mail letters.
I saved some of my e-mail letters that my girl friend wrote. That helped to go back over the letters. E-mail letters can be a great way to get better acquainted with people. You can save the letters on the computer, disk, or print them off and file them. You never know when you would like to read something over again.
These ideas have helped me deal with Maryís death as well as remember the special moments that we have shared.
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Janet, This is an excellent column, dealing with exactly what the title states. I'm sorry about the loss of your friend, and I am glad she was your good friend while she was on this side of eternity! Sincerely, Dan Blankenship
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