Love, Sex and Intimacy in Marriage
by Angie Lewis
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Love, sex, and intimacy are essential components that great marriages require for complete stability. Real love is the spiritual aspect, sex is physical and intimacy is emotional. It would be difficult to love your spouse if you only thought about yourself. This is not real love. Selfish people often have a difficult time giving of themselves, and yet, that is what love is all about. Love is more than a feeling, it is an action, and therefore, real love takes effort and sincerity.
In scripture, a husband is commanded to love his wife. What do you think is going to happen if that love is not a sincere love for his wife? She will feel frustration, resentment, and anger, and she will have a very difficult time submitting herself to the man she married. When a husband does not love his wife the way God has asked him to love his wife, all sorts of problems will develop in the marriage, mainly rebelliousness, and selfish thinking.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her, to make her holy, cleansing her by washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife, love himself. Ephesians 5:25-28
Husbands are commanded to love their wife for a very beautiful reason. It brings about the ideal biblical marriage that God designed himself. Marriage is a holy union, and a living symbol that needs self-sacrificing care. A husband should be willing to sacrifice everything, including himself, for his wife. He should make her well being of prime importance to him. Meaning, do whatever it takes to protect, care for, and love her, without expecting anything in return. I do not think there is a woman on this planet that if loved by their husband in this way, would fear submitting to him if he treated her in this way!
Sex between a man and a woman in marriage can be a totally beautiful experience when real love is felt and acted upon. The sexual relationship can be a healthy and productive when both husband and wife feel good about their designated roles and positions in the marriage.
Why do some women feel that all their husbands ever want or care about is sex? If a husband is neglecting certain areas in the marriage where a woman needs to feel like a woman and feel good about who she is, then she will feel exploited and abused by her man sexually.
A woman who feels neglected in the love department will not want to have sex with her husband. A woman, who knows that she is loved in ALL areas of marriage, will not have a hard time taking pleasure in having sex with the man she married. She will not have a difficult time initiating the lovemaking either.
This is precisely why God says for a man to love his wife as Christ does the church because if a woman rejects her husband sexually, what do you think he is going to do? That's right, look elsewhere. So men, donít neglect your wife in any area of the marriage, give away your love willingly, without wanting anything in return, protect, and care for your wife, and be willing to give everything up for her and she will submit to your love in every way imaginable to her.
Intimacy like love takes action to complete its purpose. Having a loving, giving, and sharing relationship with the person you married provides couples the closeness that marriage craves. The bonds of intimacy are shared on each level in marriage from romance, to sex, to areas of communication. Couples can feel intimate by sharing a simple conversation with one another.
Women who are loved and feel close to their husbands are more apt to be respectful and devoted wives. A woman who is truly loved will utilize all of her creative talents and god given abilities that she has been blessed with; her husband will never be in need of anything. So you can see how, love, sex, and intimacy are all desirable attributes for a healthy and productive marriage.
If you lack in one of the areas described above, discuss it with your spouse, find out together what you can do to bring out the attribute you are lacking and work on it together. I encourage you to see just how truly unique and special your marriage can be by loving and sharing yourself with each other on an intimate level.
Dear Children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.
1 John 3:18
Angie Lewis is the author of two marriage books. The first, Journey on the Roads Less Traveled is a book about love, life, addiction and marriage.
Love The Man You Married is an informative and biblically centered book tackling such issues as adultery and learning to completely forgive your spouse.
For more information on these books, visit Angie's marriage ministry at http://www.heavenministries.com and while you're there, sign up for the monthly marriage newsletter.
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