These people who want to continue to appear tough and bad.
Confusing me with the real enemy at hand.
Saying they yield all to God and then turn
and throw arrows at you with smiles on their faces and gloat .
Putting the false spin on "it's me, not you"
When secretly they want to blame you for all that they do.
Being a "bad-a**" and a submitted one of the Lord does not roll.
It's you straddling the fence of the world and their own.
The more you lean over the further you'll fall.
Then you'll turn and blame others claiming they "pushed" you too far.
Denial is deep and anger much deeper.
Shifting your shame and trying to make me be the "keeper".
I own it not and I throw it all down. I will carry no more baggage of others guilt and shame.
Co-dependency has been put on the shelf to remain.
I have owned all my faults and I give them to the Lord.
But as for yours I thoroughly disown.
You volley them over to me
But I put down the racket and choose not to play.
You bow up and want me to react.
But I press in even closer to the Lord and remain intact.
He covers me in the shadow of His wings, He speaks to me peace and patience to maintain.
The flesh is tired of the stress and the quips.
But in His line of vision I choose not to be tripped.
The stretching is hard and I strive to remain, of where I am not wanted, is a familiar refrain.
This strength is not of my own recourse
It's God's Holy Spirit that is my driving force.
On Jesus I'll stand on the rock of His love.
And spread all I've learned and all I've become.
Patience, oh patience why are you hard to retain?
Why so many levels I have yet to attain?
Pressing in hard and not playing the "charade".
Is causing my prayers to evermore intense levels of the play.
Be with me, beside, within and without and help me remain in the space that I am in doubt.
Sonia Jean Crooks
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