Reaching out her old withered hand to grasp what is left of her youth, she brushes her hair. Beyond her old body crumbling she still has her memories of good times and bad times. Still trying to focus on the good, but the mistakes she made in her life seep through as a tear falls down her cheek. Looking down she sees her skin is so think itís like a looking glass to a sea of blue veins.
The pains she endures on a daily basis go way beyond what she thought growing old would be like. Her visions of yesterday are all she has to grasp a hold of while she lay in the uncomfortable bed in the square room with a TV. Her kids said they had to put her in the nursing home. They said she needs constant care.
All she knows is itís a place to die. She is alone with strangers who drool and wet themselves. Some of them mumble some studder, but all are here to die. She not wanting to burden anyone didnít complain she just faced facts. Her kids have their own lives to lead and she is just one of many of their problems they have to face. She gave each of them life and cared for each child beyond herself. The love that was given their whole lives was everything she had. She doesnít see them very often and is almost forgotten all but the cost of her living in the nursing home, which burdens all 3 of them.
Looking back she wouldnít have dreamed of living in a nursing home. Almost expecting one of her kids to take care of her and then maybe alternate care between them. It seems the way things should work. She gave each one life, took care of each of them their and now they have put her in a home and let strangers care for her and never see her. I guess itís a lot like daycare for old people. As she falls asleep in the middle of the afternoon with lack of anything better to do.
She fades away to when she was in her twenties prior to kids, and prior to big responsibilities. Riding her horse Charlie, while her hair is billowing behind her, the wind combing through her hair, the warmth from the sun caresses her face as she rides with vigor and grace. On the horizon the mountains are majestic and the aspen trees green with leaves. Smelling the wonderful pine trees and the wild flowers of the field she sees in the distance her first love.
She feels his eyes on her while a shivers races down her spine. Her stomach alive with flutters, as she gets nearer to him. She races to meet him in the meadow.
He lifts her from her horse as if she were feather light. Twirling her round and round with his arms around her tightly. She breathes in his unique masculine scent that drives is so him. The love in his eyes humbles her and makes her realize what a miracle love is between two people who share it.
She awakes to the nurseís aid bringing in her lunch. Disappointed her dream had to end. Realization hits her hard. What a life she has led. She has loved and been loved, has grown kids in her belly and nourished them as her children grew to adults. She has had so many wonderful times, and when she looks down at her food she realizes this place isnít all that bad. She gets served all her meals, they do her laundry, and she doesnít have to worry about her bills her kids worry about that for her. Itís like having a vacation all the time.
With a smile on her face she looks up and sees the wonderful sun pouring into her room and the sun caresses her face and she knows that God has sent her a message of love and remembrance. We can all look at things two different ways. Itís our choice which way we look at things. God always gives us a choice to be thankful of what he has given us, for without him we are truly lost.
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