The road, as always, wore a dusty cloak—
but not so much that it should cloud my eyes;
and yet I didn’t recognize who spoke
to me and my companion as the skies
began to change from blue to purplish gloam.
Amazement captured us as miles went by—
the knowledge he possessed could fill a tome;
and though our hearts burned hot, my friend and I
were quick to not discern the voice of God,
which three years taught us walking in the flesh-
a flesh of clay— just like the path we trod;
the way immortal with mere mortal meshed
that day, as sunlight disappeared in night,
and we broke bread to realize all was right.
I know nothing about "iamic pentameters, entrinsic's or quatrains" - but I do know a good poem when I read it - and this one reached out and touched me. Very nice.
This is amazing! Beautiful iambic pentameter, wonderful rhyme scheme, lovely word choices, touching message. I love it!
Just out of curiosity--one more line, and it would have been a sonnet. Why'd you stop at 13?
No matter--this is first-rate poetry.
To all: The beauty of a site such as this, is the intrinsic opportunity to both learn and teach. I ahve learned to be humble, and Jan has taught me how.
I could not believe it when she said I was one line short of a sonnet, but after counting on my fingers and toes, I discovered she was right! Somehow, I had left a line out in the last quatrain (though admittedly I didn't have it partitioned in the traditional manner).
Thank you Jan for your eyes of laser like accuracy. Now if you'll excuse me, I must go wipe pie off my face... humble egg pie.
Doug
PS The line has been restored to the text.
Doug--I just revisited this, so charmed was I the first time I read it. I'm going to use it as the Front Page Showcase article for the week of May 22. Watch for it on the FW home page!
