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Lackopurposidous
by Rosalind Morris
06/07/03
Not For Sale
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Lakopurposidous
by Rosalind Morris


Characters:

The Gossip Twins: Gabby Gossip, Gosta Gossip
Imma Nabaddy
The Greeneye Brothers: Jelussy Greeneye, Covetty Greeneye
Naomi Neverzenuf
Destiny Settlehope

When the lights come up seven chairs are set up in a semi circle. Enter Gossip Twins: At first they are standing in front of chairs. Gossip Twins are dressed alike.

Gabby: Did you hear what happened to Thomas Market?


Gosta: Girl what?


Gabby: Well, I heard that Robby said that Tiffany told him that her cousin's best friend, Harry, saw Thomas at the movies with Barbara Jeans.


Gosta: Girl, stop!


Gabby: Sister, yes!


Gosta: Well, I say! I thought she was engaged to the Pastor Wade's son. What's his name? (Snaps fingers as she tries to recall the name) Roger!


Gabby: Oh, I wasn't finished. You see Pastor Wade was there that night too.


Gosta: Na ah!


Gabby: Uh huh! So Harry sees the Pastor, just as the Pastor sees Thomas and Barbara who obviously did not see anyone other than each other because they were kissing with their eyes closed.


Gosta (sits in chair): Oh Lord!


Gabby (sits next to her sister) : Wait there's more!


Gosta (Points to corner): Hold on, here comes Jelussy and Covetty!


Gabby (Waves as the boys walk up): Hi Jelussy, Hi Covetty! Come sit with us!


The boys come and join the twins.


Gabby: We were just talking about what happened to Thomas Market.


Jelussy: I can't stand that guy! He thinks he is Mr. Hot Stuff.


Covetty: Have you seen his car? I wish I had a car like that. Then I would really be cool.


Jelussy: Well I don't. I can't stand the way he flaunts it all the time. (Mocking) Let's go in my car. Why don't I drive! He is such a show off.


Gosta: Anyway, Gabby was about to tell me what happened with him and Barbara.

(Right when Gabby opens her mouth to continue the story Gosta interrupts her again.)


Gosta: Ooh, here comes Imma! Hey Imma, come and join us! Imma comes over looking slightly sad.


Imma: Thanks Gosta. Hi everyone. (Everyone waves "hi" to Imma.)


Gosta: How's it going Imma?


Imma: Fine I guess. Just not sure why I'm here.


Gosta: You are here to get the scoop on Thomas Market. Gabby was just about to tell us when you came up.


Imma: Oh I don't know why I need to hear it. What good am I, anyway?


Gosta: Oh, just listen. Go ahead Gabby. Gabby opens her mouth to speak again. This time Covetty interrupts her.


Covetty: Hey guys, isn't that Naomi over there! (Points toward Naomi)


Jelussy(grumbling): Why is she always grinning at you. I have three classes with her, and she never says more than hi to me.


Imma: Naomi is so pretty, but she always makes me feel fat.


Covetty(ignoring both of them): Hey Naomi! Come over and sit with us!


Naomi joins them.


Naomi: Hi guys! I just got back for my scuba diving meeting. I can't stay long. I have a book club meeting at two.


Covetty: Wow Naomi, you sure have a lot of activities. If I was in as many activities as you I could be really popular.


Jelussy (mocking Naomi) Look at me I am so pretty, I am so popular. Show off!


Imma (To Gosta) Do I look fat in this outfit?


Gosta: Hey guys, let's let Gabby finish telling us about Thomas Market.


Gabby: Let's see... Where was I? Oh yeah so Pastor Wade saw Thomas and Barbara....Wait a minute. Isn't that the new girl?


Gosta: Yeah! What's her name again? (snaps fingers while trying to think of the name) Destiny, right?


Gabby: Yeah I think you are right. Anybody know anything about her? (Everyone shakes head.)


Gosta: Well, I think it's about time we met her. Hey Destiny! Come sit with us! Destiny walks over to join them and sits in the last remaining seat.


Destiny: Hello everyone.


Gosta: Hey guys, why don't we all introduce ourselves. My name is Gosta and this is my sister Gabby.


Gabby: We're the Gossip twins.


Covetty: My name is Covetty and this my brother Jelussy.


Jelussy: We're the Greeneye brothers.


Imma: Imma Nabaddy here.


Naomi: And I am Naomi Neverzanuf.


Destiny: Nice to meet you all. I am Destiny Settlehope.


Gosta: Well Destiny, you are just in time to hear the scoop on Thomas Market.


Gosta: Gabby, you better start from the top.


Gabby: Okay, I heard that Robby said that...


Covetty (Interrupting Gabby): If I could throw a ball like Robby, I'd be set for life.


Jelussy: I can't stand him, he thinks he is such a good ball player.


Imma: He has really pretty eyes. Do you think my eyes are too small?


Naomi: Robby sits to my left in karate class.


Gabby (Getting Annoyed) Anyway, Robby said that Tiffany told him that ...


Imma: Tiffany is helpful to everyone. I am no help to everyone.


Covetty: If I could help people like she does, everyone would love me.


Jelussy (to his brother): She is always grinning at you too. Just like Naomi. What do you have that I don't have?


Naomi: Tiffany is in my quilting club.

(Gabby and Gosta are furious.)


Gosta: Hey guys! Let my sister tell us the story!

(Destiny has been watching the other six interact. She decides to speak up.)


Destiny: Hey guys, before this goes any further, I have something to say.


Gabby (now really crabby): You might as well, everyone else has.


Destiny: I know this may come as a shock, but I would be wrong not to tell you this.

(Gabby and Gosta perk up a little expecting new gossip.)


Gosta: Go ahead girl! What's the scoop?


Destiny: The Scoop? Well, the scoop is you are all suffering from acute cases of Lakopurposidous.


All: Lakopurposidous! What is Lakopurposidous?!


Destiny: It's chronic lack of purpose and direction, and you guys have it bad!


Gosta: Who told you about this disorder? Are you a Doctor?


Destiny: No, but I am a former victim and I am authorized to diagnose and suggest treatment.


Imma: And what do you suggest?


Destiny: Well, the first step in curing Lakopurposidous is to get born again.


(All state that they are born again except for Imma. Everyone notices she remained quiet.)


Destiny: Imma yours is the worst case, but you can fix that right now.


Imma: I don't think God would except me, I am not very good at anything.


Destiny: Imma, God loves you so much that he sent Jesus to die for you. He wants you to come into his kingdom. Imma thinks it over then smiles.

(Lights down spotlight focuses in on Imma)
Imma: I want to be born again. Dear Father God. I am not much, but you sent your son to die for me, so I want to give you my heart now. Please save me.

(Everyone claps and cheers. Lights go back up)


Destiny: Okay, now everyone has taken the first step. The next thing you need to do is renew your minds with the Word of God and find out what his purpose is for your life. When you find out who you are in Christ, you will know that you are fearfully and wonderfully made (looks at Imma, hands her a Bible), that you don't have to be part of everything everyone else is doing (looks at Naomi, hands her a Bible) because God has something for you that different from everyone else (looks at Jelussy, hands him a Bible) and you won't want to forfeit His plan for you by lusting after what others seem to have. (Looks at Covetty, hands him a Bible) and once you have found your purpose, not only will you not have time to hear (looks at Gosta, hands him a Bible) or to dish (looks at Gabby, hands him a Bible) the latest scoop, you will not desire it because you will know that your time would better be spent lifting a fallen brother or sister up in prayer than tearing them down with hearsay. I am not saying its easy guys, but I know you can do it. I know because I did it, and if I can do it, anyone can! My name used to be NoDestiny Wisheye-Adahope.


Everyone: Thanks Destiny. We needed that!


(Everyone turns to leave down stage left, but turns back when Destiny calls after them with one last exhortation.)


Destiny: One more thing, when you are cured, you will be able to recognize others who have fallen victim to Lakopurposidous. Be sure to point them to Christ and to The Word of God. It will the only cure they will ever need.


Everyone: Amen!


(Waves good-bye as they exit. Lights go down as Destiny also exits down stage left.)


THE END

If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be! TRUST JESUS NOW

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samuel saalwaechter  15 Nov 2005
enjoyably different




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