I feel better; I went to a Shawn Mcdonald concert a couple of days ago and it was just what I needed. I know that I'm running away from something and my excuse for running was this missions trip. I know that I'm going to go on one sooner or later but this year wasn't it. God told me back in Jan. that I wasn't going. But I just ignored his voice and decided that I would try this alone, what stupid thought isn't it? Well, needless to say I'm not going and I've had 3 months of stress and worrying really over nothing because I kinda knew the whole time that I wasn't going to be going but I keep pushing the thought from my head. After the concert a good friend and I just talked for a bit about what was going on in our lives at the moment. And I guess we both kinda realized that we were both running from something... but neither of us knew really what it was. But next year I'm going back to college; hopefully at Tabor. And I'm going to try and get a degree in Creative Writing or English. I would also like to minor in music and minor in youth ministry.
Its funny how you can get so off track of what God wants for you so easy. I thought way back in October when God first said he wanted me to go on missions that this was it and I focused my mind on what "I" wanted to hear and not so much on what God was really saying to me.
I hide my faith too much... thats what he was saying. I'm scared to show people the person I hold inside of my heart. I keep my Lord in a small box and use him only when I feel good about it. Back in January I remember the speaker at Hot Hearts saying this: "The one thing we as christians cannot do in heaven.. is spread the good news at our Lord & Savior Jesus Christ" And isn't that so true? Isn't the the whole reason we are here? I mean yes first its to become saved and have a relationship with God but then after that aren't we called to spread the news about this love we have found? Not keep it inside of us tightly in a box. Of course my first thought was "I don't want to shove this down peoples thoarts... thats wrong..." Talking to someone about Christ isn't shoving it down their thoarts; shoving it down their thoarts would be walking up to someone and telling them flat out they are going to hell because they are wearing black and haven't given you money yet... thats shoving it to them! But talking about Jesus really isnt' that hard, just strike up a conversation with someone about really anything. You'll come to find out that people really do want to hear about God it just seems that no one really wants to share it with them.
Ok to shorten that down a little: God has called me to step outside of my box and take him out of the box I've put him in; and to tell people about his free grace. He told me this back in October but I just didn't want to listen then.
I'm not sure what you all do throughout your days. But I want you all to realize something: you might not wake up tomorrow... and when you die you'll either go to Heaven or Hell depended if you get serious and became saved. But lets say you go to Heaven and you're standing in front of God... well actually you'll probably be flat on your face in front of God but anyways... The first thing God is going to say is: "Did you tell people about me? Did you help people? Did you love people as I have first loved you?" How many times throughtout the Bible does God stress that! Help people! Love on people! Yes, church is awesome and all that great stuff but we should be putting our fellow man above that!
Really quick and I'm done I would like you to think of how you treat people from day to day. And I'm not talking about your inner circle of friends I mean "EVERYONE". Christ said that what you do unto the least of these, you do unto me. And (watch this now!) what you "did not" do unto the least of these, you do not do unto me.... You help someone it is as though you are helping Christ himself! You kick someone to the crub, it is as though you are kicking Jesus himself in the face. Take some time and think... Love and show love! God Bless
I am so very grateful to God that you are feeling better! Yes, you are right. To confirm this, if you get a chance, please look at Isaiah 58 on the "fast" that Jesus wants. It is one of those keys to being used of God, mightly.
Kyle, If I can give a little (old age advice) the biggest key is to learn what Jesus is like, how He treats people. Read the gospels over and over again! Ask Him to reveal Himself to you. And love, love, LOVE like He does. You won't even need to tell people about Jesus at first - people will flock to you and then, when the time is right, you can point them to our Blessed Saviour! Thank you so much for sharing with us. My prayers have been with you and please keep us posted. Virginia