2.00am– another sleepless night. I was tempted to wake my husband up but decided against it as he really needed his rest. As I tossed and turned, I began to pray and talk to God. There were so many things I wanted to talk to Him about and as I went down the list, I began to think about who God is and I asked Him. Who are you? Do you really exist? Do people really know you? Are you real or am I just talking to myself? How many people are talking to you right now and how can you be there for us all? Having being a Christian all my life, I am very familiar with the bible but I thirsted for a deeper understanding of His nature. I then began to wonder if there was a book I could read that would satisfy some of my questions. As these thoughts multiplied, it became clear that I wasn’t going to get much sleep. There are many resources available for those who want to have a relationship with God but what He said to me when I finally stopped asking questions was "get to know me again, the way you would if you just met a new friend or a potential spouse." And I said, but I do that all the time. I read my bible, pray, go to church, etc, what do I need to do differently……..He said "write to me, like you used to."
I got the message loud and clear. It is amazing how much one can hear from God when all is quiet and there are no distractions. Like many Christians, there are times when I find it difficult to pray or communicate with God verbally. My mind wanders at times and at times, I go completely off track. When I was a little girl, I began to write letters to God and for me, this became a critical part of our relationship. I would also write about Him to keep Him real in my life. As I grew older, and my responsibilities multiplied, this became a lifeline. However, as I got busier, I could not find time to write and began to rely mainly on verbal communication. This was not enough. I just express myself better on paper. I have written many letters over the years and I believe God wants me to share this with someone.
To me, prayer is a conversation and I talk to God the same way I write to Him.I just tell Him what is on my mind.