Jesus answered her, "If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water." -John 4:10
In the story of Jesus meeting the Samaritan woman at the well (in the 4th chapter of John), we see two problems that had to do with relationships.
1. There was a cultural problem. The Samaritan woman said to him, "You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?" (For Jews do not associate with Samaritans.) -v. 9
2. There was a personal problem. The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. -v. 18
In verse 10, Jesus lays out three powerful truths that are the foundation to build right relationships. He said, If you knew:
1. The gift of God, which is eternal life (Ephesians 2:8). To receive the gift of God is to begin a relationship with God. Many psychoanalysts would readily agree that many adult psychological problems stem from a dysfunctional relationship with fathers. So it is with spirituality. Not knowing our Heavenly Father does lead us astray, and this translates not only to the psyche but to our emotions and spirit. Furthermore, since they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, he gave them over to a depraved mind, to do what ought not to be done.. -Romans 1:28
2. Who it is that asks you for a drink. The Messiah. The one whom God sent that we may have a relationship with God. Jesus not only brings us to be reconciled with God, he is also the very embodiment of love, which is the core of relationships. For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. -John 3:16
Jesus is the gift of God. Yet it is not only necessary that we receive him, but we must submit to his Lordship. It is in his Lordship that we learn the essence of right relationships.
3. He would have given you living water. Jesus nurtures all things pertaining to life. In John 10:10 he promises to give us the fullness of life. Without the source of living water, we become futile in our search for the meaning of life. Jeremiah 2:13 warns us: For my people have committed two evils; they have forsaken me the fountain of living waters, [and] hewed them out cisterns, broken cisterns, that can hold no water. Without living water we become broken in spirit, emotion and psyche.
When we are not whole, neither is our relationship with others.
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