Kris crumpled up the paper and let it fall to the floor and numbly grabbed for a fresh sheet. She had no idea how to transfer the depth of her feelings onto the blank sheet of paper. But somehow it had to be done. She tried to focus her thoughts for some plausible way out of this horrible predicament.
Her writing desk was an 8 ˝ by 11” picture frame. Several tears had splotched the glass. In the photo she and Ryan looked so happy together. The bottom of her wedding dress splayed out like a pure white lake of innocence. Ryan looked so handsome in his rented tuxedo and had smiled broadly for the camera. A single word was stylistically emblazoned in one corner of the photograph, “Forever”.
Susan traced the word through the glass and dismally thought, “Well I guess now I know how long forever is.” How did things get so far out of control?
She placed a hand on her abdomen. She could hide her condition for a while yet, but soon that would change. Then within a day the whole town would know. “Did you hear about Kris Sheba being pregnant? And you know Ryan has been in Iraq for the past four months. I always wondered about David and Kris spending that much time together.”
On the wall was a picture of her parents and Ryan’s parents all posing happy together at the reception. For over a year, she had dreamed of the day she would call them and give them the wonderful news that they would soon be grandparents. Now a dreadful sickness consumed her at the thought of talking to any of them.
Her heart longed for Ryan to be here, to hold her tight and somehow forgive her. She wondered if she would ever feel his arms around her again. She desperately wanted to blame someone. It was Ryan’s fault for not being here. It was David’s fault for not being the man she thought he was. It was society’s fault for telling her she could do whatever she wanted. It was… it was her own fault.
She had betrayed the wedding vows she had given to Ryan. She had turned to David for attention to alleviate her loneliness. He had been strong for a while, but over time as they worked together side by side for long hours, sometimes traveling together, a familiarity began to creep in.
She wouldn’t be able to travel and still be able to care for a little baby. She’d probably lose her job. Ryan would file for divorce. Her parents would be so disappointed in their little girl.
Her trembling hand slowly scrawled out the words,
I miss you so much and I just don’t know how to tell you this.
She stared blankly at the emotionless sheet of paper through tear-swollen eyes. Then, with a torrid slash of pen, she wrote wildly across the page, “I’m Sorry. I’m Sorry. I’m Sorry.”
Kris crumpled up the paper and let it fall to the floor and numbly grabbed for a fresh sheet.
“It’s all under control.”
God the Father looked upon his child, “Oh Kris, I love you. No matter what you do, that won’t change. But your ways are not my ways. My plans for you will bring you joy and fulfillment. Your plans lead nowhere. I laid out simple guidelines for how you should live. I wish you would follow them.”
Author's note: This piece was written as the flip side to a Writing Challenge entry.
A "page-turner"; couldn't wait to find out what happens next....and then it comes to an end. It left me hanging, but I guess God is in control and I shouldn't worry about the ending. Very well written, as usual, and kept me interested. (got to find and read the flip side now in the maize of Challenges).