The son is shining but darkness overrules
I am split in two
One side of me wants to love
One side of me can’t
Why is that?
Why do you love me?
When I don’t love myself
Can you see past the façade?
When you look deep inside me
What do you see?
Am I real?
Is this a dream?
When will the nightmare end?
You can dress me up
But you can’t take me out
I am a time bomb
Waiting to explode
Evil is stirring up inside
My thoughts are running wild
I imagine things that aren’t so
And I look past things that are real
I feel your touch
I see your frustration
All you want to do is love me
And I won’t let you in
I feel that I need to protect myself from you
Because only you can hurt me
I want to love you
Yet I push you away
I am doing everything I don’t want to do
I don’t want to lose you
But in truth I already have
I see you hanging on by a thread
A thread of hope
That thing’s will change
I am furious with you
All because you wont give up on me
I tear you down
I scar you
Yet you still love me
I put fear in you
I make you walk a thin line
Because of me you are afraid to be yourself
I want you to feel safe
But I turn our home into a prison
On the outside
All is well
But within there is turmoil
And it’s by my hand
Our world is falling apart
My heart tells me to seek God
He is the answer
He can rebuild
What I have destroyed
I want it now!!!
But He says wait
I want to erase all that I have done
But He wants to heal
I want to become a man
He says it’s only through Him that I can change
So why do I run
Why do I try to hide from the truth
When all I do is make matters worse
To know that you fear me
Tears me up inside
The truth is
I LOVE YOU
I want to comfort you
I want you to come to me when you’re down
I want to understand you
I want to wipe away your tears
Instead of being the cause of them
I don’t know how to say I’m sorry
Because I’ve said it one too many times already
I guess its time to put up and shut up
Words mean nothing
And I can’t blame you for deafening your ears to me
I cry out to God for HELP!
Please help me to change
Please help me to stop hurting
Please help me to trust
Please let me be loved
Please let me love
God answers
And shows me the cross that I am supposed to carry daily
It is sitting in the Corner full of dust
Along with my map for life
His Holy Word
God Speaks
He tells me that I have taken my eyes off of Him
And like Peter
I am sinking
Even after all the damage is done
God reaches out to me
He says
Take my hand and follow me
I believe in you and I love you
I have plans for your life
But you need to get out of the way
I can restore you
For I created you in my image
And my image is LOVE
Without me you are madness
With me you are a masterpiece
Now let me in!
Let me live through you
Let me be your voice
Let me become your actions
For I am the way the truth and the life
Then and only then will you be able to love others
As I love you
The choice is yours…
What choices have I made?
I have blamed everyone for my actions
I have pushed everyone away
And I continue to push
I continue to destroy those that I love
I leave scars that run deep into their very souls
I let Satan speak lies through me
I pretend that I don’t need anyone
Especially the woman who loves me
The woman who has endured my madness
For far too long now
I can’t hurt you anymore
I can’t take my eyes off of God for one second
I need to fight my battles on my knees
Instead of throwing in the towel
Please Lord Fight For ME!!!
Help me to fight
I want to feel life
For I have lived death
And I am on the edge of insanity
Help make me whole
For there are two sides to every story
And there are two sides to me.
Who will I be?
The choice is mine
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