Void of truth I lie in wait.
Cries for mercy echo harshly
through the empty chambers of my heart.
The all consuming fire of Godís love
has been limited to a tiny secluded flame
struggling to stay alive and not be
overcome by the encompassing darkness.
I canít believe I have drifted so far away.
Love stays committed to me,
but I question the fact that I will ever commit to love.
Love is abused all around me, and yet accepted.
Love is misconstrued continuously, and yet I allow
itís contorted symbionts to create who I am.
To be Christ-like is an unfathomable stretch
of my perceptive reality.
Bearing all this in mind and considerably more still,
I recognize the insignificance of my life.
My heart, my mind and my body all are evil, and must be stopped,
and yet I hold firmly to the weaknesses and evade the truth
that I might by some means retain complacency.
I yearn for freedom from this self-imposition of slavery,
all the while doubting the reality of grace.
Finally, and with grave reluctance, I let go.
I have decided that my life as I know it must end.
The sword cuts through me like the most jagged of objects.
As I lie bleeding on the floor I feel at ease.
While the last once of life dwindles slowly from my body
I let go and rest in the arms of my creator.
Suddenly, the brightest of all lights permeates the darkness of my life
to create peace, warmth and wonder.
Love begins to run through my veins and I grow stronger
each moment as I focus on the Light.
Grace and hope fill my mind as I find myself no longer
lying lifeless on the floor, but bowing lovingly
before the presence of God himself.
God, seeing through my sinfulness
recognized my earnest desire to know him.
As I lay down my life in submission and sacrifice
He renews my strength, restores my faith
and brings joy I have never known.
Consistency and stability, honesty and simplicity ever increasingly
become part of my regiment.
I realize that it is only through this intimate relationship with God
I can truly live.
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