And the watcher in the woods stood taut, weary…..hidden.
The slow putt-putt of the motorboat caused little wake as Sonja headed towards the floating deck not far off shore.
I wonder if anyone will miss me…for real …....
Her floating haven of refuge looked bleak and empty against the horizon of trees and hot blue sky – it no longer welcomed her.
It feels sooo right….
Securing the boat to the deck she automatically reached down poking around for something that should be there. Instant anger flared, She NEVER puts anything back! Oh well – who cares?……
A quick glance back at the house and she wondered how long it’d take for someone to notice she’s not coming home. Probably late tonight, she sighed as she kicked off her shoes before sitting on the edge of the deck.
And the watcher in the woods moved closer….and waited.
Sonja didn’t notice the shock of cold on her warm feet – she didn’t notice the beauty of reflected sky upon the deep waters; where she…….Oh well ……I don’t care.
She didn’t care about life. She didn’t care about living. She didn’t care about the future. She was empty. She was already gone.
Echoes of the past were left behind as she slipped into the cool waters of Lake Harris. If hope could have saved her – it was too late now. Her tearless sorrow sank deeper than the well of tears she stored inside. Deeper than the depths that welcomed her now………mmmmmmm…..nice……
The chill of liquid death embraced her, caressed her, lulled her to its eternity. Fluid weightless motion released all tension – all pain……Aaaaahhhhh…… relief…….. finally……mmmmmm…….
The watcher in the woods quickly crept into the house.
Do I get it over with fast and just take a deep breath? Or do I wait to pass out?
Tiny flecks of florescent sparks behind her eyelids began the answer she sought in those first relieved seconds. Her mind was beginning to feel hazy. Her lungs straining for air – the unexpected pain! She didn’t count on this! Nor the desperate need to breathe!
An explosion of fear propelled her back to her senses! Dreamlike motions of groping and kicking intensified urgency! Adrenaline burned electric pulses into every muscle screaming for more speed!
Panic broke the surface.
And the watcher in the woods stood taut, alert….ready.
Watery spray from flaying arms choked Sonja as she gasped and gagged her way back up onto the deck. On hands and knees her heaving chest began to ease – her mind began to clear. Dropping spread eagle on her back she laid there.… staring…..thinking……. Where are You?
Another coughing spasm shook her body…….
‘I was like a jigsaw with pieces missing,
A square peg in a round hole…’
Sonja bolted up and looked around. There was no sound – no music anywhere. “Whoa! Where’d that come from?”
‘Like trying to climb a ladder but always slipping,
High jump, short pole’
“No way! This is way too weird!”
‘I was stained ‘til He came to cleanse me,
I was torn ‘til He came to mend me…’
Sonja fumbled with the rope trying to unhook it…. her hands shook – her fingers wouldn’t work. What’s going on! – I don’t hear anything!
She revved up the motor to block the words that popped in and out of nowhere.
Docking the boat, she raced into the house, not caring she was dripping wet – she just wanted to escape the words that demanded room in her head.
‘His Grace for my shame,
His death for my blame,
His stripes for my pain,
And the pieces fit.’
“Mom....! Where are……? That’s it....! Wheeww.....it’s a soooong!”
‘His joy for my grief,
His hurt, my relief,
My doubt, His belief,
And the pieces fit.’
The watcher in the woods sat at the kitchen table with Sonja’s CD player – her head resting in her arms.
“Mom!… Mom! What’s going on?”
“Oh baby, I used to play this all the time when you were a little girl. You probably don’t remember…..what’d you do? Go swimming with your clothes on?”
‘A maze where each direction is deceiving,
With no one to lead you.’
The warmth of her mother’s outstretched hand embraced her as she leaned her trembling wet body into her mother’s arms – rocking as one. The gentle hum of her mom’s love mingled with melodious healing words…..
‘It’s no wonder I’ve been made whole,
Since I surrendered my heart and my soul.’
The watcher in the woods’, unceasing prayers, had led her daughter Home.