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Pirates of Peace
by Tammy Johnson
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(Skit opens with wind howling, ship creaking, some tearing sounds, crashes, and other sounds of a storm at sea.)

Perry: (not seen and shouting) Blimey, a mighty wind she be! Sail trimmers to your stations! Get these sails off her, lads! She’s overpressed!

Me life be flashin’ a fore me eyes, it be! Argh, but it not be such a pretty site! (after the first splinter sound, he pops his head into the puppet window) What in the love o’? (pause until you hear the splash)

(shout) Pegleg! What be that splash? (under his breath) By me mother, if it be a man overboard I think I’ll… I think we better be stringin the lifelines.

Pegleg, lifelines fore and aft! And get all idlers and wasters below. We don’t need ta be losin’ no more men.

Pegleg (just a voice): You ‘eard the Capt’n, down ya go, lads!

Perry: (under his breath) I be losin’ me gizzards, I be. This’ll be me doin’ in, it shall. I ain’t a feared a storm so much in all me days! Where be me friend TrueBeard? I ain’t eard a peep out o him and I be needin’ his wisdom in a time such as this.

(another panicked voice) Capt’n. We’re goin’ ta lose the mizzen topgallant!

Perry: You men, to the mizzen – all secure! Close reef top sails! Pegleg, get anything that floats overboard – gratings, barrels, your pegleg! I don’t care what, just keep us afloat, mate!

(still shouting) Where be TrueBeard? Who’s seen me main Mate?

(voice: Last I seen, he be nappin’ down below. If’n I remember correctly, he still be there, sleepin’ like a babe, he be.)

Perry: Argh, tell him to raise his scurvy behind to the main deck, pronto if’n he knows what’s good fer him!

(voice answers: Right away, Captn.)

Perry: Sleepin”? For the love o’ Davey, how can he be restin’ when all the seas broke loose and is about to swallow us fer a snack! Is he daft? Lost ‘is mind he has! (make sure you’ve heard the bell) Good on ya, chum. Ring the bell and rouse that scarbordous dog outta his slumber.

(voices on top of each other: Capt’n we can’t find Sully! Arghhh, lose yer lunch on yer own shoes, Jack! I want me mommy!!!)

Perry: TIME OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(all noises stop immediately)

That’s more like it. Now, where be TrueBeard?

TrueBeard: (appearing in the window) What’s up, Mate?

Perry: What’s up? The ship be fallin’ apart by her seams, she be and you need ta ask what’s up? I be seein’ flashes o’ me 1st grade barrel rollin’ contest and the smile on sweet Betsy Ann’s face! Me lunch be hangin’ out in me throat about to spew forth and me main Mate is about to be snorin’ with the fishes! That’s what’s up!

TrueBeard: Right, gotcha Mate. So’s what ya be tellin’ is, yer afraid this storm’ll be the one ta do us in, and ya can’t figure why I be sleepin? Savvy?

Perry: Savvy. I ain’t heard such o’ thing in all me days!

TrueBeard: Well, blimey if’n I have! Did you know this reminds me of a Bible story I used ta love ta hear. Might ya be wantin me ta tell ya, Mate? It even brings us back to the Fruit of the Spirit! We haven’t had a “fruity” chat in quite a wee bit.

Perry: (hesitantly) This fruit and story, it doesn’t end with ships carrying good pirates to the bottom o the ocean, does it?

TrueBeard: Not a chance, Mate. The fruit we be investigatin’ be that o’ Peace. And the story be called, “Peace, be still.”

Perry: Argh, I be likin’ the sound o’ that. Share away me sleepy Mate.

TrueBeard: For those o’ you who can read, this story can be found in Mark chapter 4. You can have a look for yerself sometime. But until then, listen up!
One fine day, Jesus and some o’ his disciples there were out for a bit of a boat ride. They had been very busy and it was time for a break and they was heading to the other side o’ the wee sea. Well, blimey if’n a storm didn’t start to pester ‘em! The wind blew so hard, and the waves be crashing so high, that water was fillin’ their boat as fast as they could scoop it out. The poor boat was about to be turned over!
Perry: Aye, I can relate to that!
TrueBeard: There’s a twist to this story, Perry, me pal. In one corner o’ the boat, there be Jesus, sleeping just as sound as can be. I know you can imagine how upset some o the disciples got. They shouted, “Master, don’t you even care that we are about to die?”
Perry: I quite agree with ‘em. So what happens next?
TrueBeard: Jesus got up and spoke to the winds and the sea. He said, "Peace, be still."
Perry: Did the winds obey?
TrueBeard: Right you are, ole pal. As soon as he spoke, the winds stopped blowing and the sea became calm. Jesus' friends were amazed! They said, "Who is this man that even the winds and the waves obey him?"
Perry: Aye, but I be needin’ him to do the same. Can he be calming these angry seas tonight?
TrueBeard: Well, Perry. He may, he may, but sometimes rather than calm the seas, he chooses to calm YOU instead. Do ye remember the name o’ the fruit I mentioned?
Perry: Peace?
TrueBeard: Right. Now good ole’ Webster in ‘is dictionary defines peace as “calm, repose, freedom from disturbance”. Ya know, Mate, sometimes, there be sudden storms in our life like an illness, a family problem, or the death of a friend or loved one. It’s during these times, Jesus can calm the storms of doubt and fear in our life. He doesn't always take away all of the problems, but if we will trust in him, he will give us peace in our hearts. That means we can walk through the storm o trouble without being disturbed or afraid. It’s a calm we can’t explain and only comes from his Holy Spirit. Savvy?
Perry: I think I gotcha. The storm may rage around me and threaten to swallow me to the depths, but God will be there with me and I won’t be afraid. His Holy Spirit will speak to me heart and help me to trust that whatever happens will be okay.
TrueBeard: Right you are, ole’ friend. I think ya be ready! Hang on! (TrueBeard disappears as Perry says next line)
Perry: Hey, wait a minute! Ready fer what? (storm sounds start up again)
Okay, Jesus, I sure be needin’ yer peace right now! Can ya be sending some into me heart by the power of the Holy Spirit? I’d be much obliged. Thank ye. (pause) Well, that be better. I feel alright, now.
(in a cheerful voice) You lads! Look lively now! Aye, we not be alone in this gail and that be good.
Pegleg, have all the spare hands placed on the windward rail. We can ride ‘er out, we can. Work together now, lads.
Aye men, she’s gonna be okay. And TrueBeard, enjoy yer nap!

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