Here we go again, I think to myself as I listen to the tear-filled voice of my daughter.
My daughter is twenty years old, a mother of a beautiful five-month-old son and she lives in a home full of mental and physical violence.
Domestic violence is nothing new. You read about it all the time in the newspapers. You see it on the television. There have even been movies made about it. The difference is it's happening to my child.
I've asked myself why does my beautiful, strong-willed daughter live like this? I've beg her repeatedly to leave him. But the answer I get is always the same. "I can't leave him Mother; I love him." Or I get, "It's not his fault Mama, it's my fault. I push him too hard." She makes me feel so helpless and so angry.
The National Domestic Violence Hotline tells me that there is basically nothing that I can do to help my child.
They say that until my daughter is ready to admit that she can't fix what is wrong with her husband, that all I can do is just be there for her. I am to encourage her to seek help and to support her in any way that she will let me.
The hardest part for me is where they say I have to be non-judgmental. I'm to respect my daughter's decision on why she stays in her abusive relationship. They also say that I cannot criticize her or try to guilt her into leaving.
In my search for answers on how to help my child, I have spoken with the local sheriff and police chief. I was told that they responded on an average of three calls per night for domestic violence. James Robinson, the Ashley County Sheriff told me that at least 95% of the abuse was drug and alcohol related. And that the majority of the abused victims would not press charges. Which today, I'm glad to say,doesn't matter because if the officer believes that there is abuse he presses the charges.
I've also spoken to several women who have been successful in getting out of an abusive relationship and all of them tell me that when my daughter finally gets enough she will leave. But my greatest fear is that it may be too late.
And meanwhile, what about my grandson? Will he be traumatized? He is such a joy! However, he jumps and cries whenever people speak loudly around him. I try to keep him with me as often as possible.
Well, as you can see my story doesn't end happily-ever-after. When and if my daughter ever gets out of this relationship, she will never be the same. Her whole outlook on life will be changed forever. My only hope will be that she will continue to lean on Jesus her Savior and know that he will see her through.