On 4 October 2005 (Tuesday), the doctor gave me the all-clear. The fever finally left after eight days and my blood platelet count was at 239, which was within the normal range. (Had consulted three doctors before whose diagnosis were flu, dengue fever and viral infection, respectively.) SMS to all my intercessors the good news in the afternoon. And, the word of God through my senior pastorís devotional for 4 October 2005, ďGodís Medicine BottleĒ, based on Proverbs 4 came right on time. ďGod is Jehovah Rapha Ė the Lord who heals Ė and He has a divine medicine that can cure all diseases.Ē Praise God!
In the evening, my family and I took Holy Communion at home (like what we would do, whenever possible) together with Song & Dolly. Micah, my 12-year old son, led for the very first time using Kenneth Copelandís booklet ĎHow To Receive Communioní on the eve of his examination. In my heart of hearts, I believed every blessings that was pronounced in the booklet.
Around bedtime, I was fault-finding my children and chided them several times for their behaviour/antics which were not up to my adult-viewpoint/expectation. (For sure, we donít spare the rod and spoil them. But, there are times when children are just, well, children, and do their stuffs.) That night I felt that God was grieved by the way that I had dealt with my children; felt that His grief came upon me. It was like I had touched Godís heart and His love for children, and He revealed how He felt to me. I repented before the Lord, but was so vexed that I slept with a headache.
On the next morning, I woke up and gradually sensed that there was a kind of separation between my body and soul/spirit. When I ate, there was a delay in my sensing of the food. I test-pinched myself and the sensation of pain was there but there was a delay/disconnect between my body and the relaying of the pain by the nerves to my mind. (I was not on medication; the doctor gave me vitamin C only).
As for my mind/spirit, they were in a different realm altogether. I experienced peace and clarity. It was like being in heaven (would say so though Iíve never been there before, from what I could recall). I was so buoyed in this realm that my body felt such a drag relatively (itís still the same body in the same conditions, but my soul and spirit were outstripping it by far) just as what is described in the Scripture: that our outward man is perishing while our inward man is renewed from glory to glory. Over the next few days, my soul/spirit were renewed to an increasing sensation of peace, joy, love, and clarity. It was not just a topping-up, but an overflow.
I kept telling the Lord that I would not want to exchange this experience for all that is in the world. It was very difficult to pin-point exactly how I felt. Looking back, it was like what Kenneth Copeland described in his booklet that : JESUS bore sin, sickness, disease, sorrow, grief, fear, torment, unforgiveness, strife and lack for us. I felt free from each of the aforesaid state of experiences. I had no desire whatsoever to ask God for anything. This was my ONLY response: BE IT UNTO ME ACCORDING TO YOUR GOOD WORD. I kept telling God this.
This sensation of disconnect between body and soul/spirit persisted, and I told my family members and a few of my colleagues that though I was present in the body, my soul and spirit were far away in a safe place, just like heaven. I experience that all the works of my hands shall prosper; Iím full of energy and actively get things done successfully be it at home or in the office. I feel stronger than before I fell sick. My eyes are stronger and more lively than ever before, and I have a lot more reasons to smile even more nowadays. My feet are full of strength and have experienced being propelled forward by them (I would walk with ease but my feet would power-up and I ended up walking faster).
The Holy Spirit would prompt me to talk to people (not exactly my cup of tea, previously) and gives me the words to say. I just have to open my mouth and the words would come forth. Have also enjoyed the Lordís favour and favour before man. For example, was queuing in a bank on 11 October 2005 and the first counter was number 3. When my turn came, the indicator-light showed Ď2í. After a slight hesitation, I walked forward around a partition where a staff was seated. Got to sit down while she attended to my transaction at her desk. (Would have to stand at all the other counters, starting from number 3.) Have also found that people have been responding to me favourably. A few have called out my name while I was walking and given me big smiles. They seemed rather happy to see me. Praise God! My poor self-esteem has been dismantled by now.
When I attended the evening service on 7 October 2005, felt like I had been away from church for a long time (had missed one week's service only). Everything about the Service seemed renewed to me. During the pre-service prayer meeting the pastor led very boldly, and another pastor gave a solid message, prior to taking up the offering, about the donkey that Jesus sat on. His sharing from Genesis 49:11,12 was a revelation to me. The praise songs were tremendous and I could sing to the max. As for the worship songs, felt that it was like singing in heaven. But, as far as I know, the song leaders and musician were in their usual mode. Asked my wife a few times whether she could sense any difference in the praise and worship. She said that it was the same as before.
Pastor Robert Ekhís message, as guest speaker, for the evening may seem familiar to others, but I was taking down as much notes as I could. He spoke of : 1) The Family is Godís Original Plan; and 2) The Family is the Foundation for Church & Society. When he said that children are a blessing from God, I receive a deposit in my spirit that this is literally true. Now, I tell my sons that they are a blessing to me and wife, and others beside. Also, when I see parents/single parents and their children, I am reminded to see their faces as a reflection of Godís image, and their kind acts to one another as a delight unto our Father in heaven. I feel challenged to treat people nicely, as well, and to see the image of God upon their face. All Glory be to JESUS!
Children are truly a blessing from God. Do not lord it over them, nor try to control them unreasonably. Nurture them patiently and be firm when need be; love is tough, too. Discipline them when necessary, as well, as a good parent. Above all, remember that they are special in Godís eyes and to us. (So, too, are we all as children of God.)
Yours in Christ,
1:00 PM; 30-Oct-2005
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