Honoring the man in your life
By: Georgina S. Chong-You
When women become mothers we are bombarded with a barrage of emotions alongside still fulfilling all of the necessary household and life duties. Throughout this consistent process, we at times forget to feel, breathe, relax, or simply just ask for help. I was one who fell into that category. But finally, I am one of those women who can joyfully say that I have now learned to take that time to breathe, relax, and ask for help. However, it certainly was not easy to reach this point. Getting there was due largely in part to my husband. Husbands/fathers don’t always get the recognition they deserve for the support and love they give to their wives and children. I wish to do that now through these words of thankfulness to my wonderful husband Jamie…
On our wedding day, my husband promised to love me forever, to serve me, protect me and always establish my value…and so he did and has continued to for almost six years. On the day I told him I was pregnant, the same things he promised to me on our wedding day, he promised to our baby as he laid his hands on my bare belly. I knew then as I always did that he would be the best father in the world.
After 16 hours of labor without medicine, I felt as if I could not go any longer. I actually thought of asking the doctor to just put the baby back in because there wasn’t any pain when he was inside me, it was just the pushing him out part I did not like.
It was at the point that Jamie leaned into me, looked me in the eyes and said, “You are beautiful and I love you. You can do this. Now push!”
When our beautiful child finally arrived, he looked like a mini version of his daddy, and Jamie was so proud.
I experienced many joys and frustrations of being a new mother, from breastfeeding to bath time, diapering to drooling. When I brought my son home for the first time, a part of me just wanted to hold and kiss him all day long and the other part of me was terrified of what to do with him from one moment to the next, too afraid that he might break. All of this responsibility was now wrapped up under the realization that he was mine and I could not put him back inside me. He was here and here to stay.
I left the hospital room with confidence, until I put him in the car and we began to drive home. “What do I do now?” was the first question that came to my mind. My next thought was, “Does he come with a manual?”
Since most of a new mother’s time is spent on the couch or rocking chair nursing, oftentimes wondering if you are still a woman or just some type of milk machine, this comfortable spot was the first place I went to. Sometimes I would find myself sitting on the couch with my son for hours. I would nurse him there, sleep there with him and only get up to change his diaper and maybe use the bathroom. I was too afraid of taking my eyes off him, for fear something horrific would happen. I know now that was simply my oversensitivity, coupled with an overload of estrogen. Eventually, after weeks of this journey, I got the victory and just decided to “go with the flow.” And so I did.
I got the tired muscles, the sore breasts, 4 am wake up cries and going 2 days without taking a shower, but I stuck it out because I knew it had to get better. It was all worth it when I saw that first smile. My initial bonding with our son came quickly, which of course happens easily with the mother through breastfeeding and innate closeness through the womb. However, Jamie wanted to make sure that he would bond with our son in the beginning, so every chance he had he held him, kissed him, prayed with him, and sang to him. Their closeness was a relief to me because I knew that I was not in this new journey alone.
Thankfully, I had a strong support system through my husband there with me. Even the times when I was home alone during the day, struggling with breastfeeding and diapers and crying, I knew I did not have to endure it all alone. And those unforgettable moments when I would check my email and get a “Someone sent you a kiss” e-card from my husband, always made the days get more and more bearable.
Even now, 2 years later, it is almost indescribable, the joy I feel when I see my son’s face literally light up when his daddy walks through the door and he hears his voice. He smiles wide, giggles, and hugs his daddy: those are the moments that are priceless.
What sets my husband apart is first and foremost his relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. This has developed in him a character that makes him honest, loving, honoring and strong in his relationship with God and as a result, he is the same with his family. He’s by no means perfect, but no one is. However, he desires to better himself everyday in his relationship to God and to his family. He’s not afraid to be vulnerable, yet he is the strong foundation of our family. Through Jamie, our son is being taught these same characteristics. As a result, my son will be a man of God who knows how to honor and love others, as well as be strong and confident.
Dwight L. Moody once stated, “Character is what you are in the dark.” I believe this quote poignantly describes my husband as a man, a husband and a father. His character is shown in his strength and his humility.
There’s no other man I would want my son to be like more, than his daddy.