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FOR FUN Kung Fu Radio
by David Ian
10/18/05
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OPB KUNG FU RADIO

ANNOUNCER
BRANDON JET BRUCE LEE
WAITER
JACKIE HAI
HO




ANNOUNCER:
Coming soon to OPB radio:

(SFX Gong sound w/ reverb)

BRANDON JET BRUCE LEE: (forced intense Japanese accent)
Waiter! These noodles are unacceptable!

WAITER: (the same forced intense Japanese accent)
A thousand sorrows upon my head!

BRANDON JET BRUCE LEE:
Your pathetic apologies mock my venerated grandfather! And this entire table!

WAITER:
I am but a simple waiter!

BRANDON JET BRUCE LEE:
You have offended my family! You have offended me! And you have offended my pork chow mien! Prepare to die! (Blood curdling Martial Arts scream)

(SFX: under ANNOUNCER – much crashing and smashing of wood, plates breaking, silverware. Blood curdling screams, sounds of injury and yelps of surprise)

ANNOUNCER:
OPB Radio “Chop-Sake” fans, don’t miss “Revenge of the Flying Fists of the Furious Golden Dragon Tiger Iron Claws”, starring Brandon Jet Bruce Lee Chan Young Fat as the tormented fiery soul “Pang”, and co-starring Jackie Hai as the indomitable “Doh”

(SFX: Background: Highway cars whooshing by)

JACKIE HAI: (again, intense accent)
You worthless swine! You cut me off in traffic! You have offended me! You have offended my Porsche 927! And you have offended my Alpine 6200 SFX Mega stereo system! Prepare to die! (Blood curdling Martial Arts scream)

(SFX: under ANNOUNCER – much crashing of metal, glass breaking, tire rims rolling around. Blood curdling screams, sounds of injury and yelps of surprise)

ANNOUNCER:
And introducing the fiery Lo-Hi-P’ing-Pong in her debut as “Ho”, the high fashion model undercover cop with a heart of gold and fists of death.

(SFX: Nail breaking)

HO:
Ooooh! You broke a nail! You have offended my manicurist! You have offended me! And you have offended my light-breeze wave-curl hairstyle! Prepare to die! (Blood curdling Martial Arts scream)

(SFX: under ANNOUNCER – much crashing, glass/vase breaking. Blood curdling screams, sounds of injury and yelps of surprise)

ANNOUNCER:

“Revenge of the Flying Fists of the Furious Golden Dragon Tiger Iron Claws”, coming to OPB radio soon.

BRANDON JET BRUCE LEE & JACKIE HAI & HO:
Prepare to die! (Blood curdling Martial Arts scream)






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Member Comments
Member Date
David Ian 25 Mar 2006
Mary Bryant wrote: HI again! I love the way you write..it was so funny...and so exageratted..I loved it all. what a way with words, man you have the talent, you need to be publishing this stuff!! Mary :)




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