HOST (Male/Female) (Oblivious to violent responses of guest, cracks straight on without missing a hitch)
KEVIN (or KATHLEEN) SORENSON (The Revolutionary) (S/He speaks in revolutionary banter, sounds definitely foreign, heavily accented)
(MUSIC: Jaunty sign on music up and under)
Good evening, and welcome to Enthusiastic Gardening. With me now is one of the foremost authorities on raising your own garden in any climate, altitude or soil condition, Kevin Sorensen
Death to repressionists!
Now, Kevin, in your book “The Green Spade”, you discuss adverse climates as a barometer for which planting techniques to choose…
Whatever techniques we MUST use to further our cause, we WILL use! Our cause is just! We will rise above our adversaries! We MUST succeed! We WILL succeed!
HOST: (still oblivious throughout)
Could you share with us your success in crop rotation to improve garden soil condition from season to season?
This is the season for change! The conditions are all in align. We will fight! We will destroy our enemy! Smash them! Crush them!
--Yes, and speaking of mulch, you mention in your last book, “Weed Your World”, the value of compost for healthy soil conditions and spring seed planting
KEVIN: (getting agitated)
The seeds for unrest have been sown! The time of change has been cultivated and the moment for revolution is ripe for the picking! We must seize the moment when we can!
Ah! So you favor early harvest just when things get ripe. There are others who favor late harvest to create a full crop and counter the effects…
KEVIN: (Clearly insane with “The Cause”)
Are you counterrevolutionary? You are enemy of the movement? Citizens! Brothers of freedom! Now is the time! We shall take this station and hold its inhabitants hostage for our cause!
(SFX under dialogue: More “revolutionaries” filling studio, much slogan shouting, occasional celebratory bursts of gunfire if possible.)
Fellow revolutionaries! Join the throng! Join your voices with the repressed masses and make your voices heard as one for all peoples!
HOST: (still as if nothing amiss is going on…)
Well, I think that’s all the time we have today, we’ll be back again next week on Enthusiastic Gardening when we talk to botanist Jung Lee Yashimoto and discuss his latest book “Bonzai Trees”. I’m here with Kevin Sorensen signing off for Enthusiastic Gardening—
(MUSIC: Jaunty sign off music over revolutionary sounds fading)
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be! TRUST JESUS NOW
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