The way you conduct yourself when you are in a relationship with someone will help determine whether it is lasting for temporary. A story comes to mind of a woman who had been married on Saturday and was sitting on church on Sunday morning. The pastor asked her, "How is your husband?" She replied, "We are getting a divorce, our marriage isn't going to work out." Think about how you interact with others as you answer these questions:
Do you consider yourself to be a social-type person or more of a loner? What caused you to be the way you are socially? Did you develop in this genre on your own or were you influenced by your upbringing and friends, perhaps?
Are your relationships the give-and-take type for the most part or do you command most of the attention when you are involved with someone socially? Do you try to control the conversation or is there interplay of conversation?
What do you expect from those whom you know in relationships? Are you easy to get along with? Willful? Loving? Selfish? Compassionate?
How would others rate you if they were honest about how you conduct relationships in your life? How will you be remembered as a person someday?
Has your manner in your relationships changed over the years for the better or worse? For instance, if you were strict with your children, did time soften you so that you are different with your grandchildren? What caused this change?
What is your normal demeanor, the way you appear to others such as happy, sad, thoiughtful, etc? Do you agree with those who tell you that you are a certain way?
Do your relationships inspire others to better the relationships in their own lives or is your example on the negative side. In my own life as I look back, most of the lessons I have learned are from bad examples others gave me rather than positive ones. Naturally, there are good examples also, but for the most part there were mostly negative examples. If you were to look back on your life, what would you find?
How has this influenced your relationships?
Do you think good relationships just happen or do you think they take work to make them good? How do you support what you believe in this area?
If you give advice to others about relationships, do you follow your own advice as well? Why or why not?
Do you see your relationships as getting better or worse in the way they are enacted in your life? Have you ever thought about what makes them one way or the other?
What do you build your relationships on, lasting values or temporary thinking--superficialness? What caused you to be one way or the other in the way you conduct them?
Is the friend or person you are in relationship with the same type person you are as far as temperament etc., or different, even opposite? What caused you to choose this type person as a friend or whatever?
As you can see, these are thought-provoking questions. Sometimes people get into relationships without counting the cost or even thinking about why they are in relationship with that person, and this leads to taking others for granted and worse. It is important to think about why you care about someone from time to time, because it wil help you to appreciate them more and put reason behind what you are feeling.
Read more articles by Dan Langerock or search for articles on the same topic or others.
