The Sin Behind Closed Bedroom Doors of Married Christians
by Desert Rose
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This will be my second article, hoping, that unhappy married couples will go to Christ Jesus to begin the healing process that their marriages desperately need.
My next topic will be on a subject that is hard to face. The topic of sex gone wrong in marriages.
Unfortunately, this is a very common problem for many married couples.
For one reason or another, the wife no longer wants to have sex with her husband. But she will submit and without telling her husband how she feels, she will continue to have sex. What her husband never knows is, that afterward, when she is alone, she lies in tears and sadness, dreading the next time that she will be asked to have sex, to please her husband.
What neither partner realizes, is that this behavior is sinful. Both the husband and wife have put their own needs above the needs of the other (they have both become, self seeking).
The husband has put his need for sex above his wife’s needs
The wife has put her need for tenderness without sex above her husband’s needs
The wife, even though she has submitted to sex, is still complaining in her heart (with tears) and that is not suffering without complaining (no longer patient and longsuffering).
The husband refuses to give up sex without complaining in some way (exhibiting some un- Loving behavior).
Is there a solution to this, without one of them still sinning?
We Love God by fearing and obeying Him. We are obeying Him when we call Christ Jesus Lord and when we Love each other.
Our hearts, minds and bodies belong to Christ (the Son of God, who is God with us).
We are to serve God without distraction and this dilemma between married couples causes a huge distraction. This distraction keeps them from Loving God above all things. So they must go to Christ and resolve these differences and the only way they can resolve these differences, is to allow Christ to teach them how to Love.
And to Love, one must be:
Patient and Longsuffering
Not parading (bragging about) itself
Is not puffed up (thinking of self more important than others)
Not behaving rudely
Not seeking its own
Thinking no evil
Not rejoicing in iniquity
Rejoicing in the truth
Bearing all things
Believing all things
Hoping all things
Enduring all things
Because Love never fails.
Once married couples learn to Love as they are commanded to do, then all other things will fall into place, and the sins behind the bedroom doors will disappear.
This will then allow them to be ready to serve the Lord without distraction, as they should have been doing in the first place.
12 Hatred stirs up strife,
But love covers all sins.
1 Peter 4
7 But the end of all things is at hand; therefore be serious and watchful in your prayers. 8 And above all things have fervent love for one another, for “love will cover a multitude of sins.”9 Be hospitable to one another without grumbling. 10 As each one has received a gift, minister it to one another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God. 11 If anyone speaks, let him speak as the oracles of God. If anyone ministers, let him do it as with the ability which God supplies, that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom belong the glory and the dominion forever and ever. Amen.
1 Corinthians 7
35 And this I say for your own profit, not that I may put a leash on you, but for what is proper, and that you may serve the Lord without distraction.
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I think it would be best if you researched your article a little more. Your assertions about exactly what the sins of the couple were did not logically follow. Paul exhorted women to teach younger women not just to love their husbands, but how to love. The article would do better to focus on the "hows."
The problem is that this article is very clearly defined, but there are very few people that are raised to be Loving and not self centered. For example if you asked someone what patience was, they would reply that someone was able to wait without complaining. How many people would define patience as the ability to put up with waiting, trouble or even pain without complaining or getting upset or angry? Then ask yourself how often you see this trait in someone that will not be getting anything in return (as God’s Love is defined). Paul himself was very clear on what Loving is, when the Spirit through him wrote 1Corinthians 13:1-8. Here it is very clearly defined as to how we are supposed to be Loving. You will get another version of this in the verse about the Fruit of the Spirit, Galatians 5:13-26,which Paul also wrote by the Spirit. God commanded us to Love and then He told us through Paul exactly what it means to Love. The above verses make it very clear when we look at all of the Bible, from beginning to end. To Love God is to fear and obey Him. We obey Him by Loving others. We are to Love others as it says in 1 Corinthians 13:1-8 and Galatians 5:13-26, and is also listed in the above article.