The tension, torment, anxiety and stress:
Just being around her; I developed tightness in my chest.
The minutes seemed like hours; never knowing what to expect.
I’ve walked on her eggshells, since I was just a little girl.
Jumping and fetching: “Don’t upset her little world.”
It didn’t stop the roller coaster; the constant jerking and the endless twirl.
One moment in her life was euphoric and the next was hopeless, bleak.
She demanded in action, “See me, hear me and reflect me.”
The adult was powerful and the child was sickly, weak.
There have been too many years of her drama and too many years of being the object of her pain.
Me, the child lived in her images of fear, rejection and sometimes violent ways.
The truth remained distorted: the reflection of manipulating games.
I created emotional blinders: I refused to look and see.
It was my way of coping and hoping to someday be free.
You see, my mother was a victim and she made a victim of me.
I too, could have been broken: trapped in the pieces of her shattered mirror self.
I praise the Lord for taking me away from merely being, another object on her shelf.
He caught me falling and lovingly provided the shelter of help.
God… in His mercy delivered me.
I always fought back with my mind, body and soul.
I sought His strength and now, finally, I know,
He was the one who touched me and made me whole.
Now, my loved ones and I, live in His light.
We are easy and healing; no longer controlled by the weight of the blight.
With eagles wings; we soar and praise Him for giving us the freedom of flight!