Today, 1 September 2005, I really understand that I am a child of the most high, most awesome Father.
I thought there could be no year as bad as 2003-2004. I was battling after the birth of my son in 2003 to get back to normal. Womb problems were keeping me from doing this.
In the same year, my mother-in-law died. Unbeknown to me, I was having menopausal symptoms; hence I did not really feel anything that took place. I was going through the motions. I never really got along with my in-laws.
In January 2004 my dad was told that he needed a quadruple bypass. This really caused a blow to us. My three siblings and I always thought there was no dad on earth who could be as wonderful as he is. Quite and reserved, he spoke very much with action and I will always be indebted to him for bringing me through a difficult time in my life at the age of 22.
April 2004 was when he went for a bypass and survived. It was a nail biting five hours at the provincial hospital. A week later he was discharged and went to my oldest sisterís home to recover along with my mum.
At 08h30 one morning in April (the week he was discharged from hospital), 6 harmed men got onto my sisterís property. Her husband, son, the maid and four workmen besides my mum, dad and sister were on the property that morning.
They were all unharmed but very shaken at the end of it. Thank you Father! Not long after that my husband went on stress leave (he is a policeman) but I could not fathom why he needed to. He was not suffering from any of the hormonal problems I was and did not have to deal with a baby at the same time.
All this while I was battling with emotions and physical weakness and I became angry and lashed out God. I could not talk to anybody because at this stage I was not sure what about what was happening to me; neither did the doctors.
The strange thing is that God told me through my husband, to research menopause. It was an eye-opener. I had all the symptoms but I could not accept it; I was too young.
Through all this I thank God that my children did not fall very ill; they had the occasional flu bouts. But the older one started to suffer with eczema in his ear and just when I thought nothing could be worse.
Recently, my entire family was taken ill with flu or some kind of illness, including me and it has not stopped. A lump was found in my breast but thank God it amount to nothing.
We just seem to be going from one to another problem and I continuously asked God what was happening. I could see my husband was becoming discouraged and turning away from our Heavenly Father. Our financial battle seemed to have stopped, though.
A month ago, my original gynaecologist discovered that my womb was menopause in that it was not receiving any female hormones but blood tests proved that I had sufficient hormones. So we wait and see again but I am not too concerned.
It just now dawned on me that the stronger my faith became, the more the devil was trying to attack. This is what he would do if you are truly a child of God. My faith is even stronger and I am more aware now than ever that my Father utterly loves me and will never abandon me.