“It will also come to pass that before they call, I will answer; and while they are still speaking, I will hear,”(Isaiah 65:24 NASB).
Rummaging through some old poetry I wrote as a kid, I found several pieces from various ages that were written either in dedication to God or about God. They were my thoughts and feelings of faith and religion during that recorded age. I sometimes like to review my old things written just to see if I had grown any in my writing, in my intellect, or in this case, in my faith. For as far back as I can remember events in my life, which would be the age of 3 or 4, it seems God was always the center of my life even though He wasn’t always at the fore thoughts of my days. Without siblings or parents beside me during my tender years and also my most vulnerable times, the Lord was my everything. He was my parents when I needed guidance; sometimes being a father’s words of wisdom, sometimes “personifying” a mother’s healing embrace. When I felt in need of protection, He filled my big brother’s shoes, comforting a little girl the only way a big brother can. But more often then not, He was also my friend. The kind you can trust. The kind you can depend on. I can remember many nights turning to Him in darkness of my room, in the quietness of my mind, where I could neither see nor hear anyone else’s presence. I can remember the confusion, the frustration, the fright and the hurt. I can remember the tears – oh my, the tears. Yes, my life was wrapped up all around Jesus, my Lord, my parent, my sibling and my friend. And He always came through, no matter the persona I needed. He was forever patient, infinitely kind, all-together gentle and, perhaps most important of all, unrelentingly forgiving. God was there for me through it all – my weapon, my crutch.
Take away all my possessions,
Like home, car, clothes and things.
Take too all that I achieved,
the degrees, the career and accustomed life.
Take those I know and those who are important,
my family, and friends, and
Then leave me bare standing just as I am.
Who is that you see before you?
Is it the naked self, an empty soul or Christ?
If it be not HE then it is nothing
And from nothing will come nothing
thus to nothingness you shall return
when the day is here
“A moment of Illumination”
Written 1990 – 15 years old
With fatigue and fault I delve within the
Complexities of my soul.
Hoping to find some mainstay with which
To grasp and cling to.
I feel myself sinking quickly into an abyss
of nothingness …
Then finally, a nebulous image takes hold
of my hand …