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Behold The Ever-Changing Faces Of Time
by James Snyder
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I have a friend, well actually, I have more than one friend but they are harder to count than the calories in my diet.

I will refrain from mentioning my friend's name, although I'm not sure why. If a person is going to be moronic, shouldn't the whole world know about it? I mean, for safety reasons, of course.

This particular friend has some very fantastic ideas about timepieces. Nothing adds more to manly attire than a good watch.

Personally, I go for function over form every time. The purpose of a watch, in my opinion, is to know just how late I am for my next meeting.

I think some men go for those expensive watches merely to impress people. As for me, I can be just as late for an important meeting with a cheap watch as with an expensive one.

Now, getting back to my friend and his crazy ideas about watches and clocks. This, after all, is the age of sophisticated technology and freethinking. This friend of mine, and he is quite obstinate on this point, believes behind every watch is a watchmaker. Can you believe it? A watch, he insists, argues a watchmaker. Please!

I did not think anyone held to this theory anymore. That sophisticated men in this technological age would hold onto something obviously not true is beyond me.

I have tried to explain to my friend that people do not believe this anymore. Watches, as everyone in-the-know knows, have emerged over a period of billions of years. Where do you think the term "watch" came from? It means: watch this thing develop.

Of course, my friend is not swayed with what other people believe. "Just because someone doesn't believe something," he argues, "does not make it untrue."

Then he repeated his belief that a watch argues a watchmaker. "The evidence," he pontificated, "points unequivocally to a watchmaker."

Everyone knows this is not true. No such person as a watchmaker exists except in the feeble minds of a few radicals.

Watches came to us through a complicated series of developments. Watches, as we know them today, did not always look like they do. It all started 2-1/2 billion years ago with a tiny spring in the remote mountains of Tibet.

Over time, this infinitesimal spring gathered about it an odd collection of tiny wheels and cogs. The reason most watches are round is because they have rolled down those Tibetan mountains for billions of years.

Through a process called Selective Spawning (known by experts in the field as the SS phenomena) things not essential to a watch were carefully eliminated.

By the time those early watches reached the bottom of the mountain they had no faces or tiny hands, just something that looked a lot like fins. So, back to the top of the mountain they swam to begin the process all over. It took seven trips down the mountain before watches began to resemble the ones we are familiar with today.

Look at the selection of watches at Kmart, for example, and you will notice a variety of sizes and styles. This is easy to explain. Through a process known as Auto Selective Interfacing (the ASI process), we have a variety of watches and clocks.

I'm sorry for all the technical terms, but this is a complicated subject and the brilliant minds of our times have worked on this theory for years.

Several years ago, an expert in this field, Dr. Richard Sneaky, thought he discovered the missing link between the sundial and the pocket watch. He was doing some excavating work at a Westside junkyard in Cleveland when he uncovered the exciting discovery.

Unfortunately, it turned out to be an old bicycle wheel. Dr. Sneaky is confident he will soon discover the famed "missing link."

The non-watchmaker people are very concerned about the watchmaker people and look upon them as a threat, and their family as being at risk qualifying for government interference.

These watchmaker people are oddballs and a definite menace to polite, sophisticated society. After all, why accept a simple explanation when there are plenty of complicated interpretations to satisfy pseudo-intellectuals?

If you think this is silly, you do not want to hear the theory some people have behind the origin of humanity. Many people have ruled out a "creator" by using similar rationale. These people have fantastic explanations for their beliefs. I am amazed at the things people will believe, although it really does not make sense.

Just throw around big, technical words people can't pronounce and presto people will accept it as truth.

Their basic tactic is to poke fun at those who believe in a creator. What people cannot handle they make fun of, hoping it will go away.

The Bible says of these people: "Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen." (Romans 1:25 KJV.)

If I can rule out a creator, I can eliminate any personal responsibility to him. Therefore, I can live any way I please without feeling the least bit guilty. Any lifestyle is permissible and even encouraged without fear of consequence.

One of my favorite Bible verses puts into perspective this matter of creation. "Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honor and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created." (Revelation 4:11 KJV.)

How hard is it to see that behind creation is a Creator?

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Member Comments
Member Date
Jane Ward 19 Aug 2005
Dr. Sneaky indeed! You are so right. It's good to know that there's a watchmaker. And it's good to know there's a Creator, that our lives are not left to chance and time, but that we are fearfully and wonderfully made by the Maker of all men.


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