All my teen life I have been teased and tormented by people a little younger than me, and still unfortunately this was continuing into my adulthood. Men and women would often tease me by talking behind my back in groups; if it wasn't my looks it wouldn't be long before something else would be said about me. I was a easy target, a 'soft touch'. Why? Simply, because I attended special classes due to my learning disabilities.
Biting my lip became second nature to me. My loving parents always gave me good advice, right from an early age they would tell me, "Andrea, don't let them get to you sweetheart...don't you rise to their bait, okay....just ignore them!!" I had learnt to tell myself (often looking at my reflection in a mirror), that I am a good person and they don't know me and their, the one's with a problem, not me!
One thing I did have though was Faith. Faith to always believe that things can only get better. I loved God. From an early age as often as I can remember, I would often pray in the quietness of my bedroom, that the LORD would scatter all my enemies abroad, until the LORD spoke to me through His Word.
One day after reading the Holy Bible, I came across a powerful Scripture verse which spoke to my heart, "Bless your enemies and do good to them even if they don't do good to you!"
I must admit in all honesty that this has been hard for me for quite a number of years but, through time, patience, and a compassion for others, I've learnt to love all people regardless of their color or age group. I would seek my LORD'S face, 'my very present help in times of trouble' ; by simply praying to Him - my comforter, I felt comforted and safe.
Dear Reader, yes, I want to tell you, there were many days when I took as much as I possibly could take. I also learnt that simply ignoring the problem wouldn't really solve the issue. You can defend yourself to a certain degree but it still won't get rid of all the name-calling and off-cuff remarks! The days I did give in though were very miserable for me. You, see, I started to believe their mean words they spoke about me. I began to hate myself, and everything else to do with my life-style. I hated the world, I hated my clothes, I hated my neighbors, I even hated going out shopping with my parents. I just didn't want to be seen in public with my family and friends. It had become so bad, that some days, I just wanted to put a bag over my head when I went out anywhere. I couldn't look myself in the mirror anymore. I cried every day and every night I would cry myself to sleep. Basically, I lost myself completely, including my relationship with God.
My loving parents didn't know what to do with me anymore. They would often discuss amongst themselves whether or not to take me out of this special school. I also believe they contemplated moving away from the area at one point. My mom even wanted to go over to the school and beat up all the kids that were mean to me. I lost faith and belief in myself. I lost my self-esteem because they treated me like a monster from outer space. To tell you the truth I wanted to die. I thought of committing suicide every day. There were a few days when I even had a knife in my hand and was so tempted to cut my wrists. I thought by ending my life, I would just make everyone happy that was cruel to me. But, something and someone stronger than the evil words that were being placed on my confused and troubled mind, kept repeating these words in my head, "If, you do this Andrea, you will lose God for all eternity. Suicide, is not of ME... If you do this you will hurt the ones that love and care about you the most!!"
My friend, there is a way out of every problem we face in life today. And, I probably wouldn't be here today to share my testimony with you, had I not let those loving words that God spoke through His precious Holy Spirit to me. By repeatively speaking them to my brain my mind-set, I began to let them sink deep, deep down, into the very bellows of my soul!!..
After my freshman year, I met many new people that were and are still so wonderful, that treated me like I was someone special. They helped me find God and myself again. I started to go to a local Youth group, and I just grew more and more closer to God and falling in love with Him and His Word. Not long after, I then discovered my unique gift of writing and expressing myself on paper. My Pastor of the church I started to attend asked me if I was saved and I told him, 'I'm not sure, I did ask God in my heart when I was much younger to be my personal LORD and Savior'. He felt led in his spirit-man, to repent and re-dedicate my life back to my first-love, Jesus Christ. I agreed, and, Yes, God turned my life around once more!!
After, saying a sinner's prayer again, I was resaved and free. And, here I am today.....head-over-heels in love with my LORD Jesus Christ. I'm more in love with Him today, than I ever was and it is awesome feeling to share this with you. Remain blessed, remain loved, and remain highly favoured in His faithful name.
Andrea, what a wonderful, wonderful testimony to God's love and grace in your life. You certainly have been given the gift of sharing your heart, on paper. And by the way, I say, "Three cheers for your mother!" Thanks for sharing!
WOW! What are beautiful, heart-warming true Testimony!! Andrea, you are so uniquely blessed and highly favoured!! My prayer is this article will touch the heart's of people world-wide who have suffered under similar circumstances. I was really moved in my spirt-man by this anointed testimony. May the LORD Jesus Christ continue to use you to speak to your generation with signs, wonders, and miracles following. And, may He continue to send you help whenver you need it, in Jesus Christ's awesome and faithful name !! You are God's little Princess and He loves you so much!! Love always from your friend and helper JOHN3-34 Evangelist Daniele xxx