I sat in church a little one to hear, we are sinners for the wrongs and evil we do.
I kept my oath I made when I was five. I trusted no one while learning how to survive.
I accepted I was no good and where I belonged, really not understanding why.
I declared war against those who caused so much harm, who did evil and went free.
No justice for the good, the innocent suffer, you didn’t protect them, so I would try.
I will protect them since hell was to be my home, then the more I will take with me.
What heart did my words give speech to? What truth did I stand for, those many years?
I knew you as a punishing, not a loving God. You were my adversary is all I could see.
Fury ignited like a torch by the sound of your name, for your love was meant for pain.
This rage filled me with power, so I thought. I grew so weary, to find myself in tears.
Slave to that oath with each new battle. The darkness continued to claim more of me.
Time had come to learn to live, not just to survive, to rise above all what had come.
A life filled with self-sufficiency and shame from many ways I accepted as truth.
I started to face all that I had become and making right of all the wrongs I had done.
God, I acted as if, you really loved me and that I was a worthwhile person.
I refused to forgive but settled for acceptance. I trusted others, but only so far.
Then one day, you showed me how much you loved me, to show me your great power.
How wonderfully gentle you were with your healing of what was taken from me.
God, you draw those who are ready and I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior.
I have grown in my trust with a heart that keeps on being renewed in your ways.
Lord, I lift a heart full of Love, Praise, Thankfulness and all the Glory to you for my life.
Written by TerriLynn E.(Dove) From Proverbs 3:5-7
Read more articles by Theresa Lewis or search for articles on the same topic or others.
