Marriage
One of the things I loved most about my husband when we met was that even though he was a Christian, with strong Christian roots, he was not "churchy", unlike the guys I had dated before him. Genuinely nice guys, the dates preceding my husband were warm and engaging men, with whom you could have stimulating conversations about your spiritual journey. Christian music could be heard from their car radio and some even sang or played music in front of church groups. Looking clean-cut, sharp, and polished on Sunday mornings, they were often found leading prayer vigils or hanging out with the youth group. These guys also put quality time into witnessing to single, eligible women, and sharing with them their testimony of how God had called them to the "ministry". They drew admirers, for their upbeat "on fire" disposition, ready to rebuke every demon that came their way, and quote verses for every trial that threatened their upbeat way of life. Unfortunately, like many young women, I allowed myself to be impressed by their Christian lifestyle rather than by their heart.
Then I met Eric. He was very different than these other Christian men I'd known. He could not have ever won the "most Charismatic, charming bachelor in the church" contest. Society calls him "a man's man" who is "rough around the edges", or "rugged and outdoorsy". He is the "strong and silent" type, although he's really not silent - he's just not a gabber like many of us. Whatever you want to call him, one thing's for sure: Eric is an honest man. He won't pretend he's something he's not. So while he attends church, he's never gotten very involved, because he never felt called to be a deacon, didn't know the right spiritual words, surely never felt comfortable in a suit, and therefore didn't think he could fit in at church.
While I didn't want Eric to be involved in church to impress me, I wanted him to be involved - for him and for our marriage. My heart ached for a man who would make himself accountable to other believers. Eric wanted me to be happy, and knew he needed more accountability, but didn't see a place he felt comfortable serving at church. This was a growing sore spot in our relationship.
Finally, I began to pray that Eric could have a place to serve that would be enjoyable for him, where his unique strengths could be used. I began to realize that there WAS a place for Eric at church, because God says that all believers have a place in the Body of Christ, whether they are the feet, the mouth, the hands, all are needed.
My answer to prayer came in the church bulletin. One Sunday, I saw a notice introducing a new men's ministry called R.O.R.S. This stands for Roaring Order of the Red Suspenders, a group of men who meet monthly to chop down trees, cut wood, and give the firewood to those in need. Once they attend their third cutting, they earn their red suspenders. I thought this was the coolest idea for a ministry. How characteristic of God to use men in such a creative way. It also sounded right up Eric's alley. See, he was raised in a small logging town, and used to chop wood with his grandpa as a boy. To this day, his favorite clothes to wear are a pair of Carhart jeans(Carhart is a popular clothing line for outdoorsmen), and a logger's hickory shirt. Knowing Eric would eventually see the notice in the bulletin, I decided not to mention it to him, because I didn't want to "talk" him into joining, or even worse, push him away from joining. It needed to come from him - and it did, a couple of weeks later. He showed me the church bulletin and said that was something he could do.
Eric has only attended two cuttings so far. But both times were very enjoyable for him. Immediately following next month's cutting, all the men and their families will be coming together for a potluck. Eric will take home his red suspenders that day.
Finding this ministry taught me that God isn't looking for cookie-cutter Christians. He has a unique place in the body for every believer and if that place doesn't already exist, He creates it into being! As wives, we need to watch that we don't mold our husbands into what WE think would make a Godly man. Our sight is so limited. Only God knows His perfect will for our husbands, and we need to pray for His will to be done in their lives.
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Your article was very well written and straight from the heart. You have a gift and I believe your gift will make room for you!