I should’ve known something was wrong when advice like, “there’s still time to get out” was given at my bridal shower. In all of my experiences with bridal showers, there had never been a hint of negativity but here it was at MY bridal shower. Little did I know that it was the beginning of more “wicked” wisdom to come.
My euphoria of wedded bliss was an annoyance to some. “You just wait until you get into your first fight. Then we’ll see how you’ll feel about him,” or “just wait until he says something that cuts you to the bone. Then we’ll see if you still feel the same way.” Just wait? I thought I had waited!
I was 28 years old when I married my husband. Prior to our marriage, we went through (7) seven months of pre-marital counseling. My husband and I were friends for five and a half years BEFORE we even started dating! I was a virgin and my husband had (and will have) all of my “firsts.” I thought I had completed my “wait,” only to find the women who once celebrated my “waiting” for the wonderful man of God I married “bracing” me for a direct hit of disappointment. “Marriage is great, BUT it is a lot of work and as perfect as you think he is, he isn’t. He’s just like every other man.”
In an age where more and more women are tuning into shows like, “Sex in The City” and “Desperate Housewives,” is there any wonder that the view of marriage is so negative? Even the television commercials feature a “bungling” husband or an incompetent father who needs to be “saved” by his wife.
I am a year and a half into my marriage and I am wondering if I am the only one who still “ooo’s” and “ahh’s” over the love of her husband. My husband and I disagree and get upset like other couples do, but we find a way to move on with our relationship, respect, and love for one another intact. A year and half of marriage still hasn’t disqualified me from hearing “wicked” wisdom.
The “wicked” component of this wisdom is there is always a bit of truth in what is being said, but the truth is overshadowed by the wicked intent to discourage rather than educate, to hurt rather than help. For example, “When the children come, it won’t be the way it is now so you had better enjoy it while you can.” It is true that a marriage is affected by the arrival of a child, but what is being highlighted in the comment is the negativity of the change and presents children as a “disruptive” part of marriage which is UNTRUE! Beware of “wicked” wisdom! The seed sown into your soul can have terrible ramifications for you, your marriage, and your family. Here are several ways to identify and deal with wicked wisdom.
1. The bible in Ephesians 4:29 states, “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.”
“Wicked” wisdom does not edify or build up your confidence and outlook on marriage. It does not minister “grace” (a disposition to be generous or helpful) to the hearer. There are no solutions or advice given to the challenge set before you. It is simply meant to discourage and plant a seed of discord and doubt.
2. I Timothy 4:7 states, “But refuse profane and old wives’ fables, and exercise thyself rather unto godliness.” The word “refuse” in the Greek means “to turn aside or to depart” but it is highlighted in use by its inclusion of the words “perverse or perverseness.” This scripture doesn’t say to refuse profane and old wives’ tales as you would refuse someone offering to help you carry your groceries out of the store. This scripture uses refuse in the sense that one ought to refuse someone offering her pornography or drugs. There ought not be any entertaining of the possibility --- refuse!
The word “profane” in the greek means, “a threshold or accessible (as by crossing a doorway) i.e. (by implication of Jewish notion) a heathenish, wicked: profane (person).” By this definition we ought not allow or entertain even in the doorway of our minds (soul) anyone “heathenish” or “wicked.” There are “doorways” that we open everyday to allow thoughts, notions, tales, etc., into our lives. “Entertaining” these negative views of marriage and children through gossip or otherwise puts marriages in a very dangerous position. Beware of what you allow to cross the threshold of your mind!
3. Titus 2:3-5 states, “the aged women likewise, that they be in behavior as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; that they nay teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.”
The Bible provides guidelines to let you know if a Godly woman is qualified to “teach” you as well as informs you as to WHAT she ought to be teaching you. A qualified woman will be: 1) operating in a manner (behavior) that becomes or exemplifies holiness; 2) found speaking the best of people and not talking about the sin of others to exalt herself. She will not slander other individuals whether they are saved or unsaved. 3) a non-drinker or will drink very little. In many of the television shows and “contemporary” novels today, women gather together at a bar, club, or home to drink and talk about their problems and the problem of others. And finally, she is the teacher of “good things.” What “good things”? Well, here’s a list of just a few.
1.) She teaches the young women to be “sober” or of sound mind to discipline or correct.
2.) She teaches the young women to love their husbands and their children.
3.) She teaches the young women to be “discreet” or self-controlled as to opinion and passion or temperament.
4.) She teaches the young women to be “chaste” or clean, modest, innocent, and perfect. This implies presenting oneself to a husband as well as Christ and men.
5.) She teaches them to be “keepers at home” which refers to the maintenance of the household (cooking, cleaning, stocking up on supplies, maintaining an inventory of goods, etc.).
6.) Finally, she teaches them to be “good” and “obedient to their own husbands.” Some women will notice how another husband treats his wife and listen to the advice/counsel of that particular husband, rather than her own.
Ultimately, a mature Godly woman who qualifies knows her teaching is done so that the Word of God is kept and not blasphemed by those who are watching the lives of the young women, or by the young women receiving instruction. So, I say this with all sincerity---beware of wicked wisdom! Do not plan for pain, disappointment, and disaster. Marriage is a beautiful union, honorable in the sight of God. The Bible should be our guide to building a happy and healthy, Godly marriage. So I am shooting for the mountain top, not owrshipping my husband, but honoring him as a gift from God and a leader in our home. Our marriage won’t be like all those rooted in “wicked wisdom” --- you just wait and see.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be! TRUST JESUS NOW
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