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Topless Evangelism
by Joshua Wood
07/13/05
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Copyright 2005, Joshua Wood
www.btfindustries.com
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I was recently told that “I am of Christ. Christ is of God. All things are God’s. Therefore all things are mine.” In context, the speaker was explaining that all truth is God’s truth and we should embrace truth wherever and however we encounter it.

The only significant factor is truth discovered. The rightness of the search, so to speak, is irrelevant.

Post Modernism at its finest – blessed, guiltless searching for truth.

Which is great news, because I’ve developed the most revolutionary evangelism tool in history. You thought “The Passion of the Christ” was an effective tool? Not even close. My method will have your sanctuaries full seven days a week.

It’s an idea that would make consumer-driven, marketing modeled churches green with envy.

I’m talking about an evangelistic approach that takes Christendom’s signature lack of creativity to an entirely new and more effective level.

Christian retail will never have to rip-off television or retail slogans for t-shirts anymore. They won’t need entire merchandise lines for every book that comes out.

This is the rip-off to end all rip-offs.

I’m talking about Topless Evangelism™.

A cross between Girls Gone Wild and Topless Tutors, Topless Evangelism™ will reach an entire generation of 13-35 year old men with the life-changing gospel.

The rejoicing angel choir will be audible even to our human ears.

Topless Evangelism™ is a simple concept. Basically, the most beautiful young women in your church exchange partial nudity for an audience receptive to the life-changing truth of Jesus Christ.

Think about the millions of young men that would never consider coming to church that would suddenly be unable to leave.

All truth is God’s truth. The rightness of the search, so to speak, is irrelevant.

I’m aware that there will be objections to my method. There were also objections to the Reformation. There were objections when the Bible was first printed in the language of the common man. More recently, there were objections to Christian Rock-n-Roll and “praise and worship music” being played in churches.

But all these advancements have proven valuable in the development and expansion of the church.

So, what’s the difference? Why is Topless Evangelism™ any different than Keith Green’s raucous worship? Gutenberg made the Bible available to those with a desire to read the Bible. Topless Evangelism™ takes the Bible to people who never knew they wanted to know.

Applying our Post-Modern lens: if even one person comes to Christ by way of reading scripture off a young woman’s chest then isn’t it worth it?

Isn’t truth discovered the real aim? The rightness of the search, so to speak, is irrelevant.

If something is true – claim it. Just because truth isn’t always packaged in a way we’re comfortable with, does that make it any less true? If you encounter a Buddhist that knows something true about finding peace – claim it. If you encounter someone enamored with New Age philosophy that can teach you something about harmony and intimacy – claim it.

And if you can hear the gospel from the lips of a topless women – I say, embrace it and claim it a truth!

The search, so to speak…

If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be! TRUST JESUS NOW

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Member Comments
Member Date
Debbie OConnor 06 Dec 2005
Wow! You do know how to make a point... I hope this DOESN'T catch on, but I get it. :0
Nina Phillips 16 Jul 2005
That's a little bit chilling. You may be surprised, but that actually may catch on. It has I've heard in some instances similar. I would think that we should prefer not to lull ourselves into a false sense of security. God bless, littlelight




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