Just who is it that I see when I look at Jesus?
Who do I see when I look at self?
My image of god and myself has had some shake up’s of late.
I have come to realise that I have seen myself as a sinner forever trapped by my carnal nature for too long.
For too long I have had the idea like Paul that the good I want to do I do not do and the bad I do not want to do I do….
That I am a sinner trapped by my soul.
This is the opposite of what I know the bible tells me I am.
I am a new creation, freed from the law, no longer subject to its penalty or power.
Yet I still live and act and react out of the feelings of sin.
Perhaps some of the faults lie in my concrete and abstract thoughts.
I can have an abstract idea of forgiveness as described in the bible but have a concrete knowledge of my sins.
It’s etched into my psyche with the experiences that are real where as the thoughts and beliefs of forgiveness and freedom aren’t.
So how do I alter this?
How do I make the experiences of forgiveness alive real and impacting my memories?
Some of the problem of this last statement is in the perception that somehow if I work at it or try hard I can achieve the goal.
That somehow it is ultimately up to me to do the work to get it.
Wrong! What I am finding is it the opposite in fact.
That it is not something I can do by works, or trails or even altered thinking.
It is ultimately by ceasing to struggle. A complete surrendering of self and giving the job back to my god who is more than able to do the changes.
It isn’t hard work and god didn’t mean it to be so for us.
Jesus at the cross has done all the hard stuff.
Now we just have to sit back and let go and let god.
So now I am starting to look at myself with gods eyes.
I am holy, loved, cherished, god delights in me not what I do or don’t do but in me…. kazza…
He knows me the good and bad and yet he looks past my sin and faults sees the real me and is in love with that one.
Part of the help I have had in this area is to use my imagination for god.
Some how for too long I held the belief that it was wrong to do so, and yet the imagination yielded to the work of the holy spirit is one that is open to the thousands of different possiblities and solutions that a truly loving creative god can give.
God is using these sessions to bring healing, clarity and a renewed sense of worth in my own sight and gods…
Find yourself a place of sanctuary.
I call it my “Happy Place” to go with god in your mind and allow the lord to minister to you in a way that he may never done so before.
It’s my date with Jesus.
So the challenge is to let go and let God…