Trish and I have been in the process of moving my mother to Florida and renovating, then moving into our present home. I missed the entry time of the Writer’s Challenge on “Christmas”, so decided to post it here.
We have been experiencing separation anxiety from Faith Writers. Sure hope we are able to get settled in soon so we can get back on the keys and fellowship with all our FW family. Loving you all!
“Merry Christmas, I’m Out Of Here.”
“Well now, has everyone opened all their presents?”
“Yes. Honey, it has been a great morning,” I naively replied.
The next thing my wife of sixteen years said brought my world crashing down around me.
“Merry Christmas, I’m out of here. I rented an apartment and I am moving into it today.”
Christmas 1978, my life was irrevocably changed. The things I thought I did in the darkness were revealed in the light. My wife had had enough and she was walking out the door taking our young son with her.
For years afterwards I tried to blame her for leaving me. Why, after all, I had just turned my life over to the Lord and everything was going to be all right. Why would she leave me right when I was getting my act together?
Years later, after growing and maturing in the Lord, I finally got my answer. When the chains of selfishness gave way to a servant’s heart, God showed me the truths of my past. At last, I came face to face with the person I used to be and I was sickened and repulsed by this creature.
I was raised in an Archie Bunker world where the man of the house was the king and the little woman was an Edith Bunker running around behind the king doing his bidding. Though I choose a career as a public servant, it stopped when I entered my castle, and I became the lord of my domain.
I looked back at my selfishness and all my “indiscretions” and I realized why my wife left me. Though I had joined a church and confessed the Lord, all my wife could see was the zealot who had been into all kinds of self-serving activities like motorcycle racing, building dune buggies, Friday night poker games, running the bars with my cronies at will, and on and on ad nauseam. Why should this new adventure be any different? King of my world…destroyer of my family; I made Archie Bunker look like a saint.
I have asked my former wife to forgive me for my past and the hurt I brought her, but I’m not sure if she has been able to do so, even to this day. Every Christmas brings the memory of who I used to be and the destruction that came from trying to be king.
I can’t go back and fix the wrongs I have done. I can’t take away the pain I caused in the lives of my wife and children. I can’t right any wrongs I have done. I am no king! All I can do now is live a life that shows I have changed and learn from my sinful mistakes.
I thank God that Christmas has now taken on a new realization to me. It has brought healing and restoration to my life because I came to know “The King,” Jesus, the King that forgave me and saved me from my own self-serving ways. The King of my life, the King who brought healing to my former wife, the King of Christmas…Jesus, the King of all there is, was, and ever will be.
The self-serving activities of the past have given way to a life of servitude and have stood the test of time. Don’t look for any Archie Bunker reruns in my life. The King is in control, now.
Powerful testimony dear Lucian, told with great humility. It takes a big man to allow himself to be seen in such a light. More than that, it takes a revelation of God's grace. Thank you so much for sharing it with us all. With love, Deb
Brother, I did the very same thing... in fact, I went to my ex-husband just a couple of weeks ago and apologized to him for the things I did. Whether he accepts that or not is between him and God, but I needed to clear it up for my own walk and the Lord has blessed me ever since. My ex doesn't even need to apologize to me... I forgave him a long time ago. And now, I'm ready to go on and live... I mean really live. My marriage has been over for many years and I feel ready (and mostly, I feel prepared of the Lord) for the "real thing." I learn so much from you and Trish. May the Lord very richly bless you both.
Love it, Lucian! Some lessons are so hard to learn, but it sounds like you learned yours very well. No one who witnesses your gentle spirit here would ever remotely connect you with Archie Bunker! :)
So glad you and Trish are back. You have been very missed!
Lucian, all anyone sees now is a devoted servant of Christ. Trish's postings speak volumes of who you are now. The stepping stones on the broken roads have a purpose in our lives to bring us to Christ and reveal His glory. God bless you!
If only we could understand ahead of time the destruction that always comes when we live as king. You're so right, Lucian, we can't go back and do it over. I'm so grateful for God's grace that redeems, not just me, but redeems the past for His glory as well. Thanks for the special reminder..