ONLY an older woman can teach a younger woman how to grow up to be a competent, complete, content and spiritually mature woman. ONLY an older man can teach a younger man how to grow to be productive, producing, complete, providing, and spiritually mature. Attempting any other formula--regardless of reason--is an invitation to failure.
It’s just that simple.
Back in the day, a brother would not DARE go out into public shabbily dressed, let alone looking like an escapee from a state prison. The main reason (besides the wrath of your parents); a member of the opposite sex you might have an interest in would do her best to let you know that your ‘broke down look’ was not acceptable.
I remember the day a young man would not DARE smell like sweat at a school or club dance function, simply because the young women in attendance would go out of their way to let a brother know that he had ‘offended’.
To the sisters in the house, I must ask a question:
“What HAPPENED to your STANDARDS?”
TIME TO COME BACK TO THIS ISSUE:
I didn’t stutter. What HAPPENED to your STANDARDS?
I have noticed more and more ‘allegedly’ intelligent black women out for a drive with the neighborhood ‘thugg’ in tow, complete with his diamond earring stud, sagging pants, cheap jewelry, a hoodie or a backwards cap on their head.
No, the brother is not driving the car; SHE is!
I go into a store and see high school girls arm-in-arm with a pint-sized thugg wannabe from the neighborhood, fake gold teeth, sagging pants and all. I take my wife to dinner, and I see the streets awash in a flood of ‘thuggery’--even at the so called ‘good’ restaurants.
A few months back, I happened to be sitting in the office of a friend of mine who is a successful education administrator. He too has noticed ‘the rise’ in intelligent sisters who delighted (that’s right, I said DELIGHTED) in driving around the town with the neighborhood thugg in the passenger seat.
He and I were shaking our heads in disbelief.
My friend mentioned what a lot of Black men already seem to know: Too many of the women of today are more interested in boys, because they can’t control--nor want to listen to--MEN.
It used to be that we could say ‘the sistah didn’t know’. It’s pretty hard to make that statement now, when more and more women have the degrees, positions and cash.
So, I guess it boils down to the ‘Ramey Three Deadly D’s’: Desperation, Domination, and just plain DUMB!
Ladies, again: WHAT happened to your STANDARDS?
SISTERS SHOULD BE EXAMINING THEMSELVES:
The brotherhood heard the call from society and has been reaching out to young Black men. Where ARE the sisters who are doing the same with young Black women?
It seems that some sisters are visible for every other type of media visibility--except getting young women under control. I’ve seen more women show up for photo ops on topics from ‘relationship advice’ (and are NOT married), to pushing more ‘get rich quick’ schemes onto their unsuspecting friends (and relatives, and coworkers); to seeking state and federal grants to start mentoring programs for young Black men.
In short, we’ve got many women doing everything--but the RIGHT thing!
I’ll make it easy on the sisterhood/sistahhood who may be reading this month’s column; IF you had your male child(ren) out of wedlock, and cut him off from having contact with his biological father because of your OWN selfishness, no amount of ‘mentoring’ will replace that void. YOU, my sister, need to resolved some issues in your OWN home before you ask for help from the outside.
Here are three items I believe that older women need to be teaching to our younger women throughout society:
The difference between going to church and having church in you.
The difference between uplifting and destructive friendships between women.
The difference between single and married and respecting those differences.
THE BIG THREE:
Let’s start with the last one first. There are plenty of older, single women who are more than happy being single. Let’s face it, ladies--marriage is NOT for everyone, and DEFINITELY not for the selfish, manipulating, bitter, resentful, or wandering. Nevertheless, I have run into more than a few sisters who are single and have everything going for them--and long to be married; plus I have run into more than a few married sisters--who long to be single.
It takes an older woman who is content with her lot in life to teach a younger woman that same contentment. However, we don’t see this kind of teaching in our modern day from the MSM, or from the ‘talking heads and shallow souls’ that haunt the TV talk circus.
I don’t know about you, but I sometimes wonder how wise Oprah COULD be, if a truly blessed older woman would have taken the sister under her wing.
Maybe, Oprah and Stedman would have said their wedding vows by now.
But, I digress.
ONLY TWO LEFT TO GO:
Next on our radar screen, the TYPES of friendships women make among themselves are REALLY a cause for concern. There has been more than one brother who has found the woman of his dreams--only to have the ‘dark cloud’ of Miss Right’s wayward, trifling, and whorish friends blast their way into the picture.
Bad in-laws are never as bad as some tragic ‘sistahfriends’ in the background!
Don’t shout me down when I’m on a roll, amen?
How GOOD women know--and have--Jezebel, Delilah, and a host of other ‘wrong way’ sisters as their ‘bestest’ friends is beyond me. It is more troubling to see these friendships extend INTO the marriage arena after a sister says ‘I Do’. The friends (who are single in most cases) circle many a home (like buzzards looking for a free meal) seeking to drag their now-married friend back to the clubs and male sex shows they used to attend religiously as a pack of female wolves.
Speaking of religion, let me move on to that item at the head of my short list.
I might as well be blunt. There are STILL young women who attend the churches across our land who have forgotten what church is all about. Church is NOT meant to be a fashion show, nor a place for a woman to land a date for the weekend.
It’s about God, period. His worship; His praise, His plan, and His Word!
This next item is a subtopic of the issue and will get a little rough for some sisters. I‘ll mention it anyway.
For a woman to step into a man’s role in the church is spiritual suicide--as the PULPIT is reserved for MEN only. According to published sources, there are currently more than 175 denominations allowing women to serve as Pastors, Elders and Leaders OVER men. While those numbers do not show a decrease, many of these denominations are experiencing a host of financial and spiritual problems because of their disobedience to the biblical standard.
Sisters, if the preaching/teaching/fellowship in a local church does not square against the Bible, DO NOT waste your time in staying.
And the sisters--and brothers--in the house said: AMEN!
MIKE RAMEY is the author of THE MANHOOD LINE. A monthly, syndicated column for men, written from a biblical, business, and common sense perspective. Email and Bmail welcome to email@example.com. © 2005 Mike Ramey/Barnstorm Communications International. (7)
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