Everyday, they’re following me around –watching my every movement as if they’re equipped with a camera focusing on me. Their fingers are pointing at me when I miss the right spot. I hear the accusations, sarcastic remarks, the condemnations - that I just want to run and hide. But where?
My own paranoia is killing me.
“I wonder what they’re thinking about me.”
“Are they talking and laughing at my back?”
“Why do they keep on ignoring me?”
“What did I do wrong?”
“Hello! Does anybody cares at all whether I live or die?”
Me…Me…Me…I’m trying to escape from this prison cell, from this bondage. This jail of selfishness and self-centeredness. I am becoming my greatest enemy.
There is no joy thinking about myself all the time.
There is no peace in self-pity.
There is no contentment in receiving and not being willing to give.
There is no faith in expecting love without loving first.
This world is inflicted with a malady called, “me first” mentality. We are battling the war within, that we need more “soldiers”- more “prayer warriors” to counteract the attack of our greatest enemy – ourselves and the product of our own confused, distracted thinking. It’s not all about us. It’s all about what God can do for us if we are willing to be free.
By the mercy of God I have been released once more. He remains faithful to an undeserving, selfish, faithless, me. And I am healed! My mind is renewed. I’m reconciled to my Maker. His love and mercy abounds forevermore.
“Great are Your mercies, O Lord; Revive me according to Your ordinances.”
( Psalms 119:156)