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Top 10 ~ Proverbs That Didn't Quite Make It
by David Ian
02/23/05
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TOP TEN PROVERBS THAT DIDNíT QUITE MAKE IT

#10 Whip your neighbor with the Scourge of Kindness, club your friends with the Cudgel of Brotherhood, beat your relatives with the Stick of Goodness, and flog the stranger in your house with the Cord of Hospitality.

#9 Like the last disintegrating mass of disgusting loathsome compost that ever stunk up the back corner of a garden Ė thatís what bad things are like

#8 Corruption and politics are like oil and water; they can never mix.

#7 Be not advised to make the elephant for a household pet; they break much furniture and the litter box is enormous

#6 The Storm of Destiny may toss you mercilessly and make you hurl your guts out over the Rail of Despondency.

#5 If you have to choose between being slowly eaten by ants in the desert or riches, choose riches

#4 A nosey neighbor is like setting fire to your hair Ė well, not in any direct metaphorical sense, but both are not good.

#3 Listen to the counsel of the merchant and peddler of used goods; be assured they have your best interest at heart.

#2 Bad stuff happens

And the #1 Proverb That Didnít Quite Make It:


#1 Give your wife the gift of a Proverb instead of gem or jewel; for they are most highly prized above all else, and you will shine in her eyes as a wise and generous husband.


If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be! TRUST JESUS NOW

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Member Comments
Member Date
Delores Baber 16 Apr 2005
Loved it.
Julie Jacobsen 23 Feb 2005
Oh, thank you! I needed a good a laugh. What wit!




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