Many of you may read this and wonder, “What on earth is she talking about?”, but unless you have experienced it, you can only imagine. Last year was a trying year for me in the natural, it actually started in the early part of last year, when I began to feel anxious as if something were about to happen, then I began to have restless nights where I would wake up for no apparent reason other than to pray, travail, and then not be able to go back to sleep.
Yesterday, as I looked back over my journals, there was an entry that I had made on April 7, 2004. It was a dream that the Lord had given me the prior night. In the dream I was pregnant and about to give birth or so it appeared. There was tremendous pressure, but no pain and I could hear a voice telling me, “Not yet, the water has not broken.” I had dreamt of being pregnant before and I knew that it would be a miracle if I were, because I had closed shop after my last child who is six.
The next morning when I lie awakened in my bed, I asked the Lord to reveal the meaning of this dream. He said to me, “My yoke is easy and my burden is light. With me there is no pain, just victory.”
I jotted this down in my journal as I always do and put it on the shelf, so to speak.
Little did I know that this was a forewarning of the things to come within the next four months. As it was in the dream, pressure was applied, not just to me but to my entire household. The enemy had to apply pressure to the head of the household in order to attempt to get to me. God gave me a vision of my spiritual conception and now was the time for labor, yet not the birthing. It was four months of walking in faith and not by sight, fervently praying, fervently standing on the Word of God and keeping it before me. It was four months of standing in the gap for my husband, who was on the verge of a breaking point, encouraging him and yet still needing encouragement for myself. Yes there was much pressure in those four months, but the Lord sustained me and there was no pain.
There was something significant about that number four and as I recently researched it, God revealed it to me. The number four is symbolic for creative work; you see in this trial God was doing a working on the inside of me. The root of love had to be cultivated on the inside in order for it to manifest on the outside. I had to choose to walk in love, even though I had knives stabbing me in the back. Four is also symbolic for the four seasons; winter, spring, summer, fall. For this was my winter season, God had me in a place of isolation, away from those that I would normally converse with. He instructed me as to whom I could share this spiritual pregnancy with. He knew better than I, of those that would attempt to abort my spiritual baby with words of doubt and unbelief. He also knew of those who would under gird me in prayer, making sure that I carried this baby to full term, my mid-wives so to speak. For this winter season was a preparation for the spring that was coming forth. The season of regeneration, a season of life where plants bring forth flowers. This is my birthing season and God has restored many things that the enemy had taken from us both naturally and spiritually. But, it wasn’t until I released total control to God, I had to get to that breaking point that I was trying to keep my husband from and when I arrived there, the waters broke and the birthing came forth.
Having done all we stood with both hands thrown up and as we threw up our hands, a release happened in the atmosphere and the manifestation of the blessings came down.
I praise God for the process; it has made me stronger in my faith and has prepared me for the next level.