These last few weeks has brought new awareness to me. In my zeal to live the life that would be pleasing to God, I began to rid myself of those who mean me no good. Those that were around who were not uplifting I had to let go. In my quest to do what is right and find favor in Godís sight, I realized something. The majority of the people that I communicated with, be it either in person or via email, I was usually the one who initiated the contact.
One week I decided not to send out any emails or contact anyone. I decided to see if anyone would email me or visit just to see how I was doing. I was slightly surprised at the results. Everyone who I emailed on a very regular basis, none of them, with the exception of one, inquired as to how I was doing. The one person who did, contacted me just to update me on all that was going on in their life and not one time asked how I was or what was going on with me.
In the midst of this, I realized how alone, not lonely, I really am. Although I do fellowship with the saints at the church I attend and speak to folk when I am out, isolation is there. I really felt it during this time. It bothered me a great deal. While speaking with a friend that lives in a different state about this, I realized that I was at a crossroad in my life. Either I could get used to being by myself or I could learn to live by myself while I wait for that person. This was something for me to really ponder.
On one hand, I realized that I have been myself for so long, that I really do not know if I am capable of living and being with anyone. On the other hand, I would very much like to experience love by someone unconditionally on earth at least once. After much deliberation, I made my decision, which to some of you should have been a no brainer, but for me it was a life changing and difficult decision to make.
If any of you have ever spent many years serving God and desiring to please Him, then you might understand how I feel. I have spent so much time in Godís presence and doing His will that I have not had the time to really reflect on my singleness. The moments where it hits home that I am by myself are so rare and occur for a very short time, that I really do not feed into the fact that I am alone and not married.
Now I learn with how to be alone.
For a little while longer.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be! TRUST JESUS NOW
Read more articles by Hazel Williams or search for articles on the same topic or others.
I see you wrote this article "Alone" in 2005. Sorry I'm just reading it. I joined Faithwriters around November 2008.
I knew there was a reason for my discontentment of the Public Library. Faithwriters offers many heartfelt articles from faithfilled Christians. And I try to read several works of others a day, while making my own contributions too. I'm so happy to have these powerful resources to comfort and inspire me.
I too am alone but married to the Lord. Isaiah 54:5 So its far from the aloneness that people feel without Him. Be encouraged Dear Sister. Who knows maybe you're married by now. God Bless You.