See Past The Blame
by Kimberly Crews
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So many times hate, resentment and unforgiveness linger
Because we are so caught up with pointing the finger.
Looking within ourselves is the last thing we do
To find what is honest and true
About who we are and what weíve done
To hinder us and our spouses from being as one.
Why are we so persistent in placing the blame
When we both need to work for things to change
So that we can be a true husband and wife?
Why are you so quick to blame your spouse for the trouble in your life?
Do you not feel that you have played a very important role
In the hindrance and stalling in reaching your marital goal
Of loving one another as God has loved us?
Itís time that we realize that being a good husband or wife isnít enough
To make up for all that needs to be done
To make us become as one.
There is a beam shining brightly in your eye
That makes it so easy to ignore and deny
The fact that you have faults and shortcomings too,
And you arenít doing all that you should do
To be the spouse that you need to be in the relationship,
And, you arenít providing good communication and companionship.
You cannot see past the blame
Because you feel that no fault is in you, not even in your name,
But, you are a poor misguided soul,
And, your self-righteousness is a hindrance to your marital goal.
ďI do what I do because she does what she does to me.Ē
ďI treat him as I do because things arenít as I think they should be.Ē
Who are you to say what is right and what is wrong
To make a peaceful, united, happy home?
If you arenít looking past faults to see needs,
And are continuously repaying wrong-doing with vengeful dirty deeds,
You are running well off course,
And, your way of thinking and doing may be the source
Of the division and destruction in your life,
And, you may very well be causing your own misery and strife.
If you arenít forgiving and moving on,
You may be the reason that the love, trust and commitment is gone.
There is no way for a wound to heal or a broken heart to mend
If you continuously open the wound without end,
And if you continue to break your heart over and over again
By remembering how the situation brought you such pain.
If you are pointing fingers and blaming the other for the wrong you do,
Itís quite evident that the blame should be placed on you;
For, you are not accepting the part that you play
To turn love, peace, and joy away.
Love cannot enter as long as hate abides.
Forgiveness avoids you because within you, unforgiveness hides
Sneaking out each time an argument starts,
Which only adds more wounds to your already broken hearts.
Peace does not dwell where confusion has made his home;
Therefore, if you continue to remind the other of what he has done wrong,
You will continue to experience confusion and not peace,
And the arguments and fights will never cease.
Joy and sorrow cannot walk hand-and-hand no matter how hard they try;
For, one you must accept and the other you must deny;
Therefore, if you want to experience the joy you desire,
You must insist that the sorrow you have expire
Never to return because of that particular reason;
For, sorrow and grief should only last a season.
When forgiveness, love, and peace come together,
Sorrowís season is over, and joy washes away the stormy weather.
If you are experiencing difficulties in your marriage, and you want a change,
Take the beam out of your eye so that you can see past the blame.
Take out a little time to examine yourself
Before you become so persistent in blaming someone else;
For, we all are sinners and have fallen short of the glory of God,
And itís usually our own sins and failures that make our lives hard.
So, if you can take just a moment to try to see past the blame,
Youíll see that things in your marriage and life will make a positive change.
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