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Voice Mail Message
by Charles Lee
02/07/05
Not For Sale
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Iím not what most people would consider technologically gifted. Sure, I know how to turn the computer on and find the game section, but generally things that require me knowing the right buttons to push typically wind up on the ďthings to learn how to doĒ list. Some items on the list have been pushed into the ďIíll never learn to doĒ list.

Granny never learned to drive a car. She always had someone to drive her where she needed to go and her need to go list was pretty short. I think she figured out the secret to living a happy life. The secret was not being so needy and being content with what she had. Thatís the way I prefer to look at it anyway. On the other hand, she might have wanted to be as miserable as the rest of us with the desire to always find some gadget or activity in which we feel holds the secret to our happiness.

Over the years, Iíve managed to accumulate a number of items that I have never quite figured out how to use properly. Iíve thrown away watches because I couldnít figure which buttons to push to set the time or the date. It is infuriating to watch the numbers blink in smug mockery as I finally am able to set the alarm to three oíclock in the morning.

My GPS system is extremely handy at telling me which day is good to hunt or fish. It is never right when it says that it is a good day to fish. Well technically any day is a good day to fish, but catching fish is a different story and one in which I wish I could tell. I thought it would be helpful in showing me the way out of the woods, but I canít figure which button to push that shows that feature. Does anyone know which side of the tree that moss grows?

Iíve finally found a gadget that not only aggravates me, but everyone who calls when Iím not home or on the internet. Itís my voice mail message. My brother-in-lawís blood pressure rises every time he listens to it.

As a pastor of a church, I feel as if I should be accessible any hour of the day or night. Therefore, in addition to my home phone, I also have a cell phone. My wife has a cell phone also. When people call, I want them to be sure they know they have reached the right home. They need to also understand they have reached Faith Baptist Church. It may be that I am home, but that I am on the internet doing some serious, um, research for my bible studies. In any case, the message on my voice mail is quite lengthy.

This tends to get a negative reaction from most people that call and reaches the voice mail. Most of the time, their complaint over the length of my message is longer than their message.

I would like to think that this would be my reason for leaving the message on the phone. Simply to aggravate people, especially brothers-in-law. But the true reason for leaving the lengthy message is because I canít remember how to change it. Although I do enjoy listening to peopleís arteryís pop when they leave me a message.


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Member Comments
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Claudette Wood 03 Aug 2005
Very cute. But really all you need to do is find a kid somewhere to fix it all. My 5-year-old grandson fixes my DVD player all the time for me!




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