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Personal Ad
by Dan Blankenship
02/01/05
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Personal Ad
By Dan Blankenship


“Hello.”

“Yes, I’m calling about your ad in the newspaper.”

“Oh, hi, what’s your name.”

“I believe you refer to me as God.”

“Huh, God? Is this some kind of joke?”

“Not at all, Sharon. Didn’t your ad say you were looking for someone to cling to through the good times and bad times; someone to be there when you needed a lift; someone who would love you regardless of your imperfections?”

“Ya, but I meant like a boyfriend or a future husband.”

“You didn’t say that in the ad.”

“Well, that’s what I meant. And if you really are God, you would know that.”

“I know a lot more than that.”

“What do you mean?”

“I know that when you wrote the letter you were in your kitchen. Your eyes were filled with tears because you felt like no one cared about you. I remember you calling My name five times as you buried your head in your hands.”

“I…I…How could anyone know about that? I was…alone.”

“Sharon, you were not alone. There is only one way I could have known about that day.”

“But, God…on the telephone?”

“Would you rather I use a donkey, or grab your attention with an unplanned vacation in the belly of a whale?”

“Well, no, but this is so…”

“Supernatural?”

“Umm…yeah, and weird.”

“Exactly who or what can be more supernatural than Me?”

“Yeah, I guess that’s true. But how do I know it’s really You and not some “sicko” just playing an elaborate joke?”

“Does this song sound familiar?”

“Oh my Go…I mean gosh…that’s the song my grandmother used to sing to me when I was little!”

“She still does Sharon. You just need to listen a little harder now.”

“Look at me, I’m crying again. You mean Gramma is in heaven and she sings that song for me still?”

“Everyday. Saints on earth remain saints in heaven.”

“This is all too much, too quick, Lord.”

“Would you like me to call you some other time?”

“No, no, please don’t go. I’m too scared you’ll leave and I’ll wake up to find out this is all a dream.”

“Sharon, My Son has made a way for you. You once believed that so strongly it was the most important part of your life. You have let doubt creep in. Now you are looking for that peace in a place you can never find it.”

“So, are you saying I shouldn’t try and find a boyfriend?”

“I’m saying that the kind of peace you are crying out for can only be found through Me. A husband can offer many things, but he can never be a substitute for the joy of personally knowing the giver of life. He can never simulate the comfort of realizing you are not home yet. As My Son said, ‘in this world you will have trouble’. Just remember you are not made for this world. The world offers crowns that melt away. Heaven offers crowns that shall not succumb for eternity.”

“This isn’t a dream, is it?”

“If it were a dream, would the truth be any different?”

“No, but why would you call me? I have friends who tell me all the time, ‘If God is real, why doesn’t He show Himself to those of us who don’t believe?’ Why not call them on the phone too?”

“Sharon, those who really seek me will find me. The miracle of creation is the catalyst that should send all men and women seeking the truth. I have said before, ‘A fool has said in his heart, ‘there is no God.’’ If people can’t see the obvious, how can they see the miraculous? These friends you speak of are searching for a God they can mold to their own liking. They want a god they can see and touch the way they do an apple or a tree. Where is the holiness in that? If sending my Son was not enough to prove I exist, I doubt phone calls, post cards, or live TV appearances would change many minds.”

“I guess that’s true. I’ve asked my friends to try reading Your word, but they always tell me they’re too busy or that the Bible is just a collection of fables. It breaks my heart when they talk like that.”

“You cannot continue to dwell on the multitudes who refuse to believe in an absolute truth. That has drawn you away from leading others to accept my Son in their hearts.”

“But, God, ummmm…I can’t remember leading anyone to recite the Sinner’s Prayer.”

“Sharon, your actions have led to thousands rejoicing in the name of Jesus.”

“Huh? I don’t understand.”

“Do you remember eighth grade, Mrs. Milby’s classroom?”

“Yes.”

“Then you should remember the speech you gave, the one that resulted in you being suspended for five days.”

“Actually, I remember that all too well. I knew when Mrs. Milby asked us to do a report on the most important person in our lives and read it to the class, I would have to do it on Jesus. When she told me it had to be a real person, I was even more determined.”

“Yes, I know.”

“But Lord, the whole class made fun of me. They laughed as Mrs. Milby, Principal Selling, and the janitor dragged me out of the classroom. What good did I do?”

“Sharon, not everyone in that room laughed. Three of your classmates, inspired by your courage and character, eventually became missionaries in Nigeria, Ethiopia, and Namibia. One of the three is with My Son now. He gave his life so others could see the truth. All because a fourteen-year-old girl – you – refused to deny My Son was the ruler of her universe.”

“I…I…never knew…I thought I was such a failure that day. I tried so hard to write such a good report that Mrs. Milby would just let me read the whole thing. But when she stopped me and the other kids started laughing, I felt like I failed you.”

“It is not your job to defend Me, Sharon. It is your job to love Me the way that I love you. Focus on that and all the Mrs. Milbys in the world can never drag you away.”

“You do know that my entire shirt is soaked with tears right now?”

“Of course.”

“Thank you so much for telling me about that! I never knew my actions on that day helped spread Your word. Of course it was really You, because without You I couldn’t even pick up this phone.”

“Nice to have you back, Sharon.”

“It’s nice to be back, Lord. Will you call again?”

“Maybe to congratulate you on your wedding day.”

“Huh…do you mean?…am I going to?”

“Meet someone? Maybe you should check your voice mail. Good-bye Sharon.”

“Bye…God! Thank you…thank you…”


If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be! TRUST JESUS NOW

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Member Comments
Member Date
Karen Treharne 17 Feb 2005
Dad, this was delightful to read and what a great ending! Wouldn't that be something to get a phone call from God? Wow! Great job. Yours in Christ, ladybug Karen
Joyce Poet 02 Feb 2005
How neat!
Barbara Thompson-Young 01 Feb 2005
A very good read. I agree with God...he doesn't need anyone to defend him. This is a skit I would love to see done. God bless.




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