Several years ago, I had a supervisor who had the knack of invading my space. He was not threatening or intimidating, but he always got my attention. When he would catch me "goofing off", so to speak, he would press his thumb firmly into my shoulder and suggest I find something more constructive to do.
This is just what God has been doing to me lately. He has been invading my space, making me take notice, and He wants me to stop goofing around. It has been nearly fourteen years now since I first put my faith in Christ, and in the past several months, God has been pressing His thumb into my shoulder and suggesting that I find something constructive to do.
In response to Godís leading, I joined an Eldership Study along with some very special men in our church. We studied Godís Word and were blessed with a need to share and learn together. The list of requirements for an elder is sometimes overwhelming (I often wonder if I will ever qualify). Yet, sharing our experiences in the group helped me see how God can use broken cups to hold His living water. It opened my heart and filled me with a desire to mature in Jesus and continue to grow into the man God wants me to be.
I read an article about two men in a Communist country, imprisoned for their faith. One was a pastor who never once complained. The other man who was writing the story had worried that he could never be anywhere near as good as the kind pastor. One day the pastor lost his temper over a small thing. The writer rushed over and hugged him. The irritated pastor asked him why and the writer said he was relieved to see that he was human too.
I personally struggle with the same feelings the writer did. I am jealous of those who control their temper, who pray well in public, share their faith without stumbling, do not seek the approval of worldly men, and love the Lord with all their heart. I identify with the man who said he believed and then asked Jesus to help him with his unbelief. Being a part of this menís group helped me grow. Iíve learned that we are all at different steps in our walk with God, and that He is working miracles in every believerÖ ďHe saved a wretch like meĒ.
I cannot help thinking; I have been a little like Jonah these past fourteen years, hiding from a call to minister. I have weathered some storms, hidden in the belly of my private life, and like Jonah, I am prone to sit and pout. Yet, God continues to invade my space; He is pressing His thumb into my shoulder.