©2005 Susan M. Wagner
Cold in my fingers, cold in my toes
Some days it's scary how far the cold goes
Into my soul? Into my psyche?
You can never tell how cold I might be
The winter has taken my home's cozy warmth
My breath forms a mist just like way up north
In the belly of home, the supposed place of rest
I sit here with heating pads and a cold cat on my chest
And I wonder how cold it must get to freeze to death
Is my poor cat a litmus? Like birds in a war zone?
As I look into her eyes, will my poor baby leave me alone?
My eyes wide, I tuck the creature under the heating pad
She cries out, misunderstanding, she claws me like mad
Is that what I do, God, when you're trying to save me?
Do I reject the blessings, the protections You gave me?
Sometimes the good things come wrapped up as scary
Because I don't understand, I'm defiant and wary
When all the time, you're providing what's helpful and necessary
Lord, take the cold, the fear, the doubt from my heart
Create in me a fearless, trusting, praising work of art
When the cold hits my soul, send Your warmth deep within
Set a blazing inferno of love to eradicate disbelief and all sin
I take hold your hand and gaze beyond the cold skies
Being touched by your love for me removes all disguise
I cannot argue, I cannot deny, I cannot claw for release
I must trust that in receiving, in making struggling cease,
The gifts from which I hide will bring the kiss of peace.
The warmth of God's love settles into my heart
Invading and permeating my soul, every part,
It displaces the chill of fear, loneliness, discontent,
Allowing me to live to the fullest extent
Praise Him, praise my beloved, give thanks for His love
That slips on my spirit like a warm, fitted glove
My soul, rejoice and delight in the firelight of His glory
Hold up your hands to be warmed by His delight over me!
And remember, remember this true love story.
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