Cap’n—A stupid Pirate Captain
Number 2—His loyal, but equally stupid sidekick.
(The captain enters and peers through his telescope)
2 Cap'n are you looking at all the pretty gulls again?
C Of course not! I'm a happily married man number 2.
2 Gulls Cap'n, like seagulls.
C Oh…No…I'm looking for my marbles, I seem to have lost them!
2 That would explain why you're up at this time on a Sunday morning!
2 Aye Cap'n
C I've been thinking
2 Again Cap'n?
C Yes Number Two. One small step for man, One giant leap for an idiot like you! I've been thinking about the principles…
2 I had a principle once. Look before you leap. That was before they made us walk the plank!
C No principles of Leadership Number 2 I was thinking that I could improve my leadership in five different areas.
2 I know Cap'n. Pillaging, Plundering, Pilfering and Profiteering and umm…Plagerism!
C Idiot! I was thinking more along the lines of soft skills than technical matters.
2 Soft skill? You mean like making those little fluffy dollies that go on the toilet rolls?
C No you idiot.
2 'Cos you're already very good at those!
C Shut up Number Two
2 Aye Cap'n Five things Cap'n?
C Yes Number Two. Five areas in which I could improve my leadership; One; I believe in Delegation. Two heads are better than one.
2 (Very pleased) Aye Cap'n. I'd like that. I think my head has a lot to offer.
C (He doesn't even hear 2, He sucks his finger and tests wind direction) So I'd like you to dig another latrine, this time downwind, while I spend more of my time on the core issues.
2 Oh you meant two heads are better than one, In the nautical sense rather than the cranial sense.
C There's nothing naughty about going to the latrine. After all we all do Number 2.
2 I suppose that's true. So while I do that you are going to concentrate on the core issue.
C That's right Number 2.
2 What is the core issue Cap'n?
C Principle Two. I believe in teamwork. Remember, there is no U in team, there is no U in we, there is no U! This is about me!
C No, Me!
2 Aye Cap'n!
C Good, now principle three. I believe in Servant Leadership…I think you'll agree I have this pretty much under control. I'm the leader and you're the servant.
2 Aye Cap'n
C Principle four. I strongly believe in Attention to detail.
2 Attention to detail Cap'n, what's that then?
C Attention to detail is ensuring that the details, the little things are not forgotten.
2 Aye Cap'n. And principle five?
C I've forgotten. Perhaps there were only four, or was it six?(Changing the subject) Oh look, I think I found my marbles
2 Aye Cap'n, You know what? I don't think I'm the only idiot on this island!
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