I have basically given up on my dreams. There seems to be no hope, I feel no one cares about them but me. It even seems God has better things to do. There are greater needs in the world than for Him to fulfill my dreams. I always have thought that if you get going God will provide. Like a motor boat, you go and He would steer you the right direction. I have gone for years. Tried for years to be a minister for him, but it seems all my efforts have been turned down and come to nothing. I have spent late, late nights working on what I thought was his will, only to have it never do anything. I know I have failed him in many areas but thought He would come through if I kept turning and trusting in Him. I always will, though I donít understand why this happens, but I have an Idea.
I feel like a ship on the waters, my sails are dashed, my mast is broken. I am just drifting, waiting for a rescue, for a miracle. The way I feel now, there will be no miracle, just drifting. It is a hopeless feeling. I feel like a piece of driftwood, floating, being beat against the shore and rocks.
I guess there is some good in being driftwood. While you are being dragged against the sand and rocks you eventually get smooth. The rough edges get knocked off and you become smooth at what you are. While you are drifting lonely for sometimes years, you have time to think of your dream of someday not drifting. And for some driftwood, it finally makes it to shore. Someone picks it up and says ď how smooth, how beautiful and unique this is. This must of taking years of Godís leading to do this. I wonder where this driftwood has been?
But, I cry to you for help, O Lord; in the morning my prayer comes before you.
Why, O Lord, do you reject me and hide your face from me?
From my youth I have been afflicted and close to death; I have suffered your terrors and am in despair.
Your wrath has swept over me; your terrors have destroyed me.
All day long they surround me like a flood;
they have completely engulfed me.
You have taken my companions and loved ones from me;
the darkness is my closest friend.
I read that this morning. I am not the only one who has felt like driftwood. And after reading that, things donít seem so bad.
Many a person has felt depressed to the point of no hope. I hope that if you ever feel like driftwood, you will do as the psalmist in Psalm 42
Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my savior and my God
As you drift through life, there will be times of helplessness. Put your hope in God - He will rescue you.
Kevin, you asked a question and then answered it so aptly with the word of God. All our hope is in Him. Take heart, I too, drifted about till God made my calling clear to me. Now, I know that I know I am where He wants me to me. It is not where I thought I would be, but the ministry I do is what He wants me to do and I feel secure in that. You may be in the process of being smoothed and perfected by the trials you endure. You said, ďI donít understand why this happens, but I have an Idea.Ē Ask God to make this clear to you and examine how and if it is a stumbling block to you being all you can be in Christ, then get it resolved so you can be set free. My prayers are with you as you go forth in His name.