Love has a pain about it that cries out to be satisfied. If you’ve ever been in love then you know what I mean. It’s not like you can’t stand to be alive. But sometimes it can get awfully hard.
When you’re in love it’s like you’re shining in the moonlight. Everything is beautiful. God’s Light shines on you. You can’t do anything wrong. You don’t want to. Everything’s perfect. And then one day you want to see why. We always have to ask why. That seems to be our nature.
Sometimes things can grow stale in a relationship. It’s when you fall below a certain level of intensity that everything begins to go wrong, and then you’re not sure of anything.Your feelings change constantly, back and forth.
Let’s look at any particular relationship, a love relationship between a man and woman. For it to be exciting they have to be at a high level of feeling. If something goes wrong, then they have to build up that energy again. You don’t even think about this when you’re in love. You have better things to think about than how it all works. So you ignore the basics.
I wish I could write about love in a completely loving way but there are some things negative about it. We are all negative and positive, good and bad. Love is the same way. It has to keep a balance. That’s important to remember.
Certain boundaries are usually set down by someone. There is always a lover and a beloved. Traditionally, the male has been the lover, the seducer. The beloved is usually the female. But it can be completely the opposite. Imagine a reversal of those roles. We need all of this to be really experienced.
In a one on one relationship it’s harder to keep it going because there’s only two of you to combat each other. Maybe it’s easier in a few ways. You have to pick and choose your fights. If a relationship doesn’t have some fights in it, it’s not healthy. We can’t all think alike. This may seem to be against Christian theology but it’s not against human nature.
We’re not evolved enough to be peaceful and happy all the time. Life has its ups and downs. We want a challenge and this isn’t bad either, if it will help us to grow.
We can take some shortcuts but they usually get us into trouble. We are born to experience all the emotions and we have to go through these experiences, willingly or not. It doesn’t matter. We are going to learn them one way or another.
Some people resist these things but they’re part of living. It’s not meant to be so unpleasant. We just make it that way. We stay mad at each other to see if we can make the other one suffer. It’s like a game but it’s a dangerous game.
There are better ways to live and we must find them. This is our duty as Christians. It should be our solemn vow to each other that we are going to help as much as we can, on our spiritual journey together.
Written by Anita Thomas
Copyright 2004
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