1. By night on my bed I sought him whom my soul loveth: I sought him, but I found him not.
2. I will rise now, and go about the city in the streets, and in the broad ways I will seek him whom my soul loveth: I sought him, but I found him not.
Do you long to know Jesus in an intimate relationship?
I invite you to come and join me in the beginning of my search. As we walk this road together may The Holy Spirit be our guide and light our path.
Although I had been a Christian for many years I had been in and out of church.
I never seemed to be able to find the Jesus I saw walking through the pages of the Bible.
My husband Jim, is a construction worker and up until we moved to Anderson, South Carolina, we were always moving wherever his job led. We were living the life of gypsies, from state to state. This made it very easy to fall right back into the party routine and out of church.
During those years, I was one of the first women to work on a construction job.
The second job I worked on was a nuclear power plant in Apex, North Carolina.
While preparing a slab for a concrete pour, I did not notice the rebar had been spread apart and fell right through the hole.
At the time the injury didn’t seem very bad. Little did I know how much trouble the injury would caused me in years to come.
Several years later, my back just “went out” and I was unable to get up at all. Jim called for an ambulance At the hospital they wanted to take me to surgery. I didn’t like the odds they gave me about the outcome of the operation. I refused the surgery and was allowed to go home about a week later with some pain pills. I could walk a little, but was still in a great deal of pain.
For the next two months I stayed in bed. . During this time I thought a lot about God and having seen Him heal many people in the past. I believed He would heal my back as well. But I was still living the party life. I had not been to church for quite a while.
When I was able to walk without help, the first thing I did was find a church.
It was then that I determined in my heart to really find God - not just a lot of stories about Him, but really find Him.
That determination began a journey that would last several years, but I didn’t give up. I just knew there had to be more to being a Christian then what I was seeing in the church.
For probably three years I spend hours reading and searching the Bible and talking to other Christians.
Then one day the Lord began to draw me to learn about prayer. Until then, prayer had always been just asking God to save my family and friends, or meet my needs or those of someone else, Prayer was something I only did when I had a need.
My Pastor at the time was teaching a series on prayer. He made one statement that stuck with me out of everything else he taught.
He said, “If you really want to do anything you will make the time for whatever it happens to be.”
This simple statement hit my heart like lighting! Anyone really seeking to know God had to spend time with God! My heart soared, Here was the key I had been looking for.
I was already getting up a four a.m. to get to work by five a.m. Now I started getting up at Three a.m. just to seek God. At first I really did not even know how to do this.
I put on some soft worship music and said , “Lord here I am . I do not know how to began but I believe You will teach me.”
In five minutes I had said all I could think of. I wondered how people could pray for hours. What were they saying all that time? Mostly , I was listening to worship music and waiing on the Lord. It was really strange but I knew He would teach me if I continued to seek Him..
Soon the minutes were flying by and all to soon it was time to leave for work.
I couldn’t explain it but I went to work feeling so much better than I had before.
The song of The Lord was in my heart, there was a new joy as I started each day.
After about two weeks The Lord began to teach me things I had never known about prayer.
No one was aware that I had begun this search but all of a sudden I started receiving tapes in the mail on prayer.
One day at church a man I hardly knew walked up to me and said, ”I don’t why , but I believe the Lord is telling me to give you this book. I have not read it myself yet, but I know you are suppose to read it.”
I didn’t know anything about this man except his name was Bill. I don’t thing I had ever spoken to him, but I took the book and thanked him. The title of the book was “Experiencing the Dept of Jesus Christ” by Madam Jeanne Guyoung.
I had never heard of Jeanne Guyoung, but discovered she had written many books over three hundred years ago, She was killed for the things she taught and spend many years in prison. It was thought that all her writing had been burned, but much of her work was discovered in recent years and translated into English. Her writing speak of discovering Jesus within you and the awesomeness of His tangible presence in your life.
This book was to be one of the keys that helped me to find the relationship with Christ that I had so longed for. As I read each page. I wondered if this teaching was true and there was such a place in Christ. I also wondered why, if this truth had been in the church at one time , why I had never heard it?
I had many questions about her teachings but somehow deep within me I knew this was the answer to my prayers.
As deep calling unto deep I could hear the voice of my heavenly Father calling to me through the pages of Jeanne Guyouns’ books.
I had been a Christian many years, was Spirit filled and knew the Word of God, but this was something I had never heard of. Little did I know then it would be another two years before my journey of searching would be completed; not until we moved from Grand Junction, Colorado to Anderson, South Carolina.
After living in Anderson, South Carolina for about six months and attending my sisters church we decided to try a small church we past by each Sunday.
From the very first time we walked through the doors of the church , we knew it was the place, the Lord had sent us. Here was a man teaching the same thing Jeanne Guyoung taught even though he had never heard of her. He spoke of an awesome experience he had with Christ. The Holy Spirit began to teach him about coming into the presence of God.
For the first two or three years I was in this church I sat in amazement. I thought this man must have heard every prayer and every word I had ever spoken to God. It was the most glorious time in my life. The Holy Spirit was doing a work deep within my heart.
By this time my prayer life had improved quite a bit. Jeanne Guyoungs’ books had helped me to understand prayer.
Prayer was so much more than God meeting a need.
I discovered that the Holy Spirit was about to take me to the next level of prayer and teach me about intimate relationship with Jesus.
As I listened to this pastor pray during services it was as if he were talking with a person that he knew like a very close friend. His words were filed with such love and tenderness, and sounded unlike any other prayer I had ever heard. He often prayed words from The Song of Solomon, right out of the Bible.
I had studied the Bible for many years but, knew very little about this particular book. The Song of Solomon is a book of such love and tenderness as Jesus speaks to His bride and she in turn speaks to Him. This has become my favorite book in the Bible.
I really believe a person needs The Holy Spirit to reveal the meaning of this book. Only by The Spirit of God can we know the things of The Spirit.
For those who really want to know Jesus and have an intimate relationship with Him, The Song of Solomon contains many secrets of God’s heart.
Over the years I have studied this book more and more. A deep study of The Song of Solomon will change your life forever, as you see and understand God’s love as never before.
I now had two keys in my search one, Spending time with God.
Two, being in His tangible presence;
More to come at a later date.
On Eagles Wings Prison Ministry
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Kathy, you have the most important thing any writer could have - an open, receptive heart. The difference in this edited piece is absolutely stunning! I can see that you now understand the importance of breaking up your piece and keeping the flow. You've tightened it up exactly where it needs to be tightened up. I'm so impressed. Well done! Now, just one more suggestion. It still has a few little typos, etc. Just very minor things. So my suggestion now would be to put this in the critique circle and let the feedback help you get the final bits and pieces as tight as a drum. But honestly Kathy, I'm applauding you for being so open to what was a very thorough critique and for rising to the challenge. Be encouraged! You're definitely on the right track! With much love, Deb
What a wonderful article Kathy! Spending time with God is so delightful, especially just taking time to ask Him to share His heart. I am so amazed at how He tends to reveal Himself at times. He is truly awesome! Your article will stir the hearts of many. Love and blessings, Sharon